This may be the most dangerous group of Wild Card teams in recent memory, and considering that two of the last three Super Bowl Champions came from the Wild Card round, that’s saying something. The two hottest teams of December, the Steelers and the Cowboys, both look like they’re peaking coming into the playoffs. The next anointed one, Andrew Luck, gets to make his case for elite status and Andy Dalton and Marvin Lewis can combine to rewrite the record books, becoming the worst playoff coaching and quarterback tandem in history.
SATURDAY
Cardinals at Panthers [-6.5]
Here’s a fun fact that will mean nothing in this game: Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald’s 117.5 yards per game average in the postseason is the best in the NFL since 1991. With Ryan Lindley at quarterback for Arizona, completely abandoning his Herbalife franchise, I don’t think that will factor in.
The last team with a losing record to make the playoffs was the 2010 Seattle Seahawks, who unleashed Best Mode Marshawn Lynch on the visiting Saints, actually winning their Wild Card game. Can Carolina pull that kind of upset? At home? To a team quarterbacked by a guy who should be loading a sandwich into a Quizno’s track oven right now?
All of these Wild Card games could go either way, but to me, this Cardinals-Panthers game is the toughest to figure out. Arizona has a sneaky good defense, going against a Panthers’ offense that isn’t sneaky good at anything. When the Cardinals have the ball… they shouldn’t. They shouldn’t have the ball. Arizona is way more likely to score points on defense in this game. The Cardinals should take three knees and punt every possession. They won’t. That’s why they’ll lose. Panthers 20, Cardinals 13
Ravens at Steelers [-3]
Six of the last seven meetings between these two teams have been decided by three points or less. Helping the Ravens’ cause, Le’Veon Bell is out for the game. Unfortunately for the Ravens, Ben Roethlisberger and Antonio Brown are both fine and have been the best QB-WR tandem in the league this year. Joe Flacco is still reeling from the cancellation of the Interview in major theaters, meaning he spent six weeks in a cloud of Seth Rogan’s quesadilla farts for nothing. That might have been James Franco.
The Ravens have spent the last half-decade ruining the postseason plans of teams that seem much better than them on paper and if they win this game, they’re as good a bet to go to the Super Bowl as anybody in the AFC. That might cause some trouble because Joe Flacco really needs to publicly push this Video on Demand release of The Interview to help recoup some of its production costs. Steelers 20, Ravens 17
SUNDAY
Bengals at Colts [-3]
Andrew Luck can do two things Peyton Manning has struggled with in this game; beat this Bengals team and win playoff games in back-to-back seasons. The Great One only managed it once over the 2004-05 seasons. Luck will get an assist from Cincy wide receiver A.J. Green who is out this week after suffering a concussion against the Steelers.
Going against Luck in this game is Luck. Only Jay Cutler (24) was responsible for more turnovers (fumbles and interceptions) than Luck (22). But the good news for those who love to see loose balls flailing about and aren’t currently in a YMCA men’s locker room shower, Andy Dalton is fifth worst in the league with 19 turnovers.
Andy Dalton is 0-3 in playoff games and been a huge factor in every loss, but his postseason futility pales beside his coach’s. Marvin Lewis is 0-5 and will set a new NFL record if he loses again Sunday. So congrats, Marv! Colts 35, Benglas 16
Lions at Cowboys [-6.5]
Last season Calvin Johnson had 329 receiving yards against Cowboys and the Lions boast the best rushing defense in the league, two facts that might ruin Dallas’ attempt to ruin every NFC preseason Super Bowl bets.
Ndamukong Suh got his suspension overturned early in the week and has spent the new year sharpening his cleats and deciding on which extremity of Tony Romo to trample. His only problem is he’s going to have to plow through the best offensive line in football to do it.
The Cowboys have spent December lighting up defenses and setting new franchise records at nearly every position, including head coach Jason Garrett, who set a new personal record for number of consecutive weeks gone by without someone mentioning he should be fired. Cowboys 44, Lions 24
Straight up
Last week: 11-5
Overall: 156-99-1
Against the spread:
Last week: 7-9
Overall: 119-135
