Hey, we all know there are perks to being a rich professional athlete, but what does a young man do when he wants to plan an orgy with multiple strange young women? Post an invitation to his Instagram account, of course.
Buffalo Bills running back LeSean McCoy’s private “females only” party sex party is Sunday, from 10 p.m. until whenever the Viagra runs out. If you’re reading this, in Buffalo, and have nothing better to do than catch an incurable Lovecrafian STD from a Pro Bowl running back, you can RSVP at the email address at the bottom of the photo.
There are other rules the willing ladies will have to follow, including signing a confidentiality agreement once you get there. You can’t even get an official invitation without submitting a photo and all your social media sites, because, well, none of us are stupid.
Whatever should the young lady wear to the party? Well, none of us know because you only find out about the attire when you’ve passed the approval test. And if you want to know if you can bring your pudgy best friend, the answer is a resounding no. The fantasy football first-rounder is not allowing plus 1s, so you’ll just have to take your chances you won’t be sold to a Saudi prince by the end of the night. If you ask me, it’s worth the risk.
The Buffalo Bills are a little irked by McCoy’s invitation. Not that he’s hosting a private sex party that could easily turn into the opening act of Taken 4, but that he used the Bills logo in his Instagram invite.
“We have reached out to LeSean and informed him that players are not permitted to use team marks for personal use without prior permission from the team,” the Bills said in a statement.
McCoy’s Instagram account says that he’s “Striving to be a GREAT DAD a CHILD OF GOD…”
https://instagram.com/p/5VhQHyrXNb/?taken-by=25_mccoy
This next one is taken right before some in-depth Bible study.
https://instagram.com/p/5VarN4rXBU/?taken-by=25_mccoy
Las Vegas is known as “Sin City” for a reason, so it’s no surprise that McCoy has chronicled his mission work in that haven of iniquity.
https://instagram.com/p/2J33wWrXPG/?taken-by=25_mccoy
I presume all the good, Christian young ladies in these photographs have already RSVPed to McCoy. If you’d like to go, never fear since it seems the Bills made McCoy take down his original invitation. Just email shadymccoyprivateevent@gmail.com and be sure to send a copy to your best friend so she’ll have something to show the homicide detectives Monday afternoon.
[related_post_one]
The Buffalo Bills must be the most hard-up team in the United States of America. Twice over the last week two Bills players, safety Duke Williams and running back Boobie Dixon were both publicly blasted by porn stars, and I don’t mean in the good way. Mia Khalifa started out the weekend by posting a direct message exchange with Williams where he was trying to woo her via twitter. A few days later Kaley Kade did the same thing to Dixon. The game is rough in Buffalo, apparently, and I’m not talking about on the field.
[related_post_two]
Cardinals put beat down on Browns via Twitter
It’s been a long while since the Arizona Cardinals played the Cleveland Browns and today and what started out as a compliment on the Browns’ stadium turned into a Twitter scuffle which, unsurprisingly, the Browns lost in spectacular fashion.
Looking good, @FEStadium… 😏 pic.twitter.com/yXRcD5MxzC
— Cleveland Browns (@Browns) July 23, 2015
@Browns @FEStadium Looking forward to Nov 1. We have not seen the #DawgPound since 2003 when @BruceArians was on YOUR sideline!
— Arizona Cardinals (@AZCardinals) July 23, 2015
.@AZCardinals the #DawgPound is looking forward to it too ❤️ pic.twitter.com/8Yc3bZ4ChG
— Cleveland Browns (@Browns) July 23, 2015
.@Browns Wow. Ok. And since then?
Postseason Games:#AZCardinals 7#Browns 0 pic.twitter.com/YbMoQ70JmM
— Arizona Cardinals (@AZCardinals) July 23, 2015
The Browns social media guy should have known better than to talk trash against any team that finished above .500 last year, let alone a team that’s put together two 10-6 seasons and made the playoffs. Not to mention there was a trip to the Super Bowl in there somewhere too. Cleveland, on the other hand, has blown multiple first round picks in multiple drafts and can’t keep its best player on the field because he likes pot brownies too much. I could also bring up the recent NBA Finals loss, but that would just be mean to the city and they didn’t ask for this. Well, they kind of did by wanting “The Browns” back, but I’m sure this ownership, coaching regime and roster wasn’t something they were banking on.
