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The NFL is Now a Lawless Wasteland

Tom Brady's deal with the devil is ironclad.

Judge Richard Berman, with the stroke of a pen, has effectively destroyed the NFL’s discplinary power for the remainder of the current collective bargaining agreement.

In case you haven’t heard every NFL fan outside of the Boston metropolitan area cursing the heavens, Judge Berman completely nullified the DeflateGate suspension handed down to New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, wiping away his four-game suspension.

https://twitter.com/taymie_sonne/status/639449281699573760

While the NFL will likely appeal the decision, Brady will be able to start next Thursday’s season-opening game against the Pittsburgh Steelers and continue to start as long as Satan rules in Hell, apparently.

Berman’s decision completely destroyed the NFL’s punishment power in his ruling, requiring evidence that could win in the court of law, not in the language of the actual CBA. The reason Ted Wells used the words “more likely than not” in his findings paper is because that’s the wording and burden of proof required by the CBA. Berman just set fire to it.

https://twitter.com/sallyjenx/status/639451346618449921

The reason that the CBA has the “more probable than not” standard of proof is because that’s the only way they can punish players for violating the substance abuse policy. A player now found with an illegal drug, steroids or any banned substance in his system can now claim he’s not the person that put it there. That it was accidental contact or that he was tricked by a doctor or someone close to him. And unless the NFL has the guy on video shooting the steroids into his own ass, he’ll get away with it.

Berman’s complete lack of understanding of the CBA he was actually supposed to use in this ruling has tossed it into a porta-john and set the whole thing on fire. The NFL is now a Mad Max-style apocalyptic thunderdome. We’ll look back on the days where a player was punished for drinking a Red Bull or taking a deer antler supplement and laugh. Players will now be shooting up in the locker room before the games. Congratulations, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. After years of cheating, lying and generally being the worst people on the earth you’ve finally found a way to completely ruin the entire game of professional football.

It turns out the “more innocent time” in the NFL was yesterday when guys were punching their girlfriends out in elevators and pile driving them into a stack of AK-47s. Who knew?

Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

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