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NFL News: Kirk Cousins Learning Too Much About Garrett Bradbury

Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

File this under things you wish you didn’t know. And as much as you might wish you didn’t know it, you have nothing on Minnesota Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins, who has discovered new grip issues with the football thanks to the profuse buttocks sweat of rookie center Garrett Bradbury.

You read that right. His posterior is positively puddled and it’s legitimately causing some problems for Cousins so far in camp.

“I’m going to take it back to how much he sweats again,” Cousins told the Star-Tribune. “He (Bradbury) promises it’s not a problem in games, but it remains to be seen because his shorts today were soaked. He says it’s not a problem on game days, so the moment of truth Friday night. But apparently you know they keep these domes air conditioned. You get a break on the bench with those cooling fans. I’m hoping that really helps. That’s a big thing I’m going to take away from Friday night, was how tough was it to grip the ball after he snaps it to me? If it is tough, we might be in pistol and shotgun all year, which (offensive advisor) coach (Gary) Kubiak and (offensive coordinator) Kevin (Stefanski) wouldn’t like very much.”

Bradbury was the Vikings’ first-round pick back in April and is already penciled in as the team’s starter. That means that Cousins and his rump will be well-acquainted all season. The quarterback might want to keep a towel handy.

Pro Bowl returning to Orlando

Like Elder Price in the Book of Mormon, the NFL just can’t get enough of Orlando. After spending decades in Hawaii at a place NFL players and their families want to be, they’ve once again picked Orlando for the fourth consecutive year.

“We’re thrilled to return to Orlando for the fourth year in a row and bring the Pro Bowl experience to the city of Orlando, our fans, players and partners,” NFL Executive Vice President Peter O’Reilly said in a statement. “We’re happy to provide not only a week-long celebration of football, but also to extend the celebration of the NFL’s 100th season throughout this year’s Pro Bowl.”

Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

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