For fans of floundering teams, there’s always the hope that you’ll somehow get your revenge on the idiot (or idiots) that have run your once-proud franchise into the ground. As a St. Louis Rams fan, Black Monday has become kind of a holiday at my house as hope turns to hate and the coach you wanted to believe would turn the franchise around, instead drove it into a lake with the doors locked.
Our only real victim Monday was New York Giants head coach Tom Coughlin, who “resigned” and gave the kind of stirring, post-firing press conference that screenwriters dream of writing before somebody ruins it with a crap movie like Draft Day.
If you aren’t fired up about what Eli Manning is going to do with that Giants team next season, well, glad to know you read my stuff, Tom Brady.
Coughlin might as well have dropped the mic after that one, but he did something even better. With Giants owner John Mara standing beside the stage, waiting for some kind of hug or handshake, this happened.
https://vine.co/v/iblLlVu5792
Mara was later treated in the burn unit at a local hospital.
Coughlin’s stint with the Giants ends with a 102-90 record and two Super Bowl championships. But really, let’s be clear, it was time for Coughlin to go. The Giants were a mess this year. This should have been a team contending for a third Super Bowl, but instead they blew leads so many times and lost eight games in the fourth quarter. This is a team that should have been 14-2. Who else do you blame for that?
Pettine and Farmer get the ax a day early
The Cleveland Browns wasted no time in cleaning house, running off General Manager Ray Farmer and head coach Mike Pettine, who they should have never hired in the first place.
Statement from Mike Pettine. Read>> https://t.co/jiY7vqWwhb pic.twitter.com/mGBKCgeCfr
— Cleveland Browns (@Browns) January 4, 2016
Pettine’s Browns tenure ends with a pathetic 10-22 record. Farmer, of course, was suspended for four games this season for violating NFL rules in sending playcalling ideas via text to then offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan. Pettine was given a tough job in Cleveland, there’s no doubt about that, but he’s not head coaching material. There’s no doubt about that either.
Jim Tomsula wins, still gets booted
Winning the season finale game against the hapless Rams didn’t save San Francisco 49ers head coach Jim Tomsula. And while 49er fans should rejoice that Tomsual will no longer be fouling the team’s restrooms all over the complex, for some reason owner Jed York decided to keep general manager Trent Baalke, all but guaranteeing another horrible hire and ridiculous head coach. For fans of other NFC West teams worried that Tomsula’s firing might once again equal a formidable 49ers’ squad, fear not. Baalke is here to save the day.
.@49ers announce Jim Tomsula has been relieved of duties as head coach: https://t.co/AJidHTtvXm pic.twitter.com/Ij7Z8pcIYo
— NFL (@NFL) January 4, 2016
Tomsula finishes his 49ers head coaching career with a 5-11 record, which is a good four games more than he should have won. Firing Tomsula makes the 49ers pay him the entirety of his contract, meaning he will earn $2.8 million per victory this season.
Current open jobs
The Giants, Browns and 49ers all put out the help wanted signs either Sunday night or Monday morning, but a few teams got the jump on them in the job pool. The Philadelphia Eagles parted ways with Chip Kelly last week and the Miami Dolphins and Tennessee Titans showed their coaches the door early in the season.
What might be more shocking than any firing is some of the losers that still have jobs, at least as of today. San Diego Chargers head coach Mike McCoy, who had already packed his desk, loaded up a U-Haul and gave away his dog was told by the team that they’d keep him in the 2016 season.
The team voices their support for Mike McCoy as head coach.https://t.co/Xlecxz2dRI
— Los Angeles Chargers (@chargers) January 4, 2016
The Rams’ Jeff Fisher too should have been tossed down a trap door. Instead he’ll get another year too as both teams have filed to move to Los Angeles and apparently moving is somehow more difficult if you have a competent coach who can win NFL football games.
The Colts smartly decided to stick with Chuck Pagano, but fired their defensive coordinator and will probably send other assistants packing. As if this writing Sean Payton remains head coach of the New Orleans Saints, but that could change any day as teams begin working deals with draft picks.
NFL players tweet reactions to news of Chuck Pagano's extension with @Colts: https://t.co/ptq6QnjuGn pic.twitter.com/oVQ6Pyw9nh
— NFL (@NFL) January 5, 2016
Astoundingly the Detroit Lions seem to be sticking with Jim Caldwell, who should have been the first coach fired out of this whole group. No explanation has been given and I’ve Googled it twice while writing these sentences to make sure he was the Ford family hadn’t somehow awakened from hypnosis, realized Caldwell was coaching the team, and called the police immediately. But nope. Caldwell is still there.
