Putting together NFL Power Rankings is fun. It’s why everybody does it. Same with making weekly game picks, even if you’re currently spinning at two games over .500. It’s a blast. But nothing I will write during the NFL regular season will be as entertaining to put together as these particular rankings. Power rankings is the wrong term, here. No, we need an entirely new grading scale. So it is that the Coach Ineptitude Rankings were born and here they will remain, updated throughout the season until each of these men and their hapless staffs meet the ultimate, well-deserved fate of a good firing.
If the averages are correct, at least four, if not all 10 of these coaches could be unemployed by the end of the season. It’s safe bet that at least one of them gets shit-canned before the season’s over. Frankly, a couple of these guys might not make it until November.
10. Chuck Pagano, Indianapolis Colts
I hate to see Pagano on a list like this, but the Colts getting off to a 0-2 start puts him back on the hotseat after signing a four-year extension last offseason. There’s plenty to work in Pagano’s favor; the pretender status of the perceived AFC South favorite Texans, Andrew Luck is healthy and their next five games are against the Chargers, Jaguars, Bears, Texans and Titans. Teams whose coaches are all ahead of Pagano on this list.
Reminder to Colts fans: Jim Irsay picked Chuck Pagano over Mike Zimmer for head coach back in 2012.
— Brad Wells (@BradWellsNFL) September 19, 2016
9. John Fox, Chicago Bears
Fox is another tough name to see on the list, but Fox has earned it with an 0-2 start with the Bears that doesn’t look like it’s going to get any better. Quarterback Jay Cutler injured the thumb and will miss at least a week. Chicago now turns to Brian Hoyer, who will then turn… the ball over multiple times.
8. Jay Gruden, Washington Redskins
No quarterback has been worse in the red zone this season than Kirk Cousins and no coach has been worse at calling red zone plays than Jay Gruden. My favorite quote from last weekend was from Gruden who, coming back from halftime told the Fox sideline reporter, “You know who has to step up? Our quarterback. He’s the one that’s got to lead us. This game is not that hard.” It’s important to note that Jay Gruden was a quarterback and wasn’t good enough to make a team or play a single down of NFL football in his life.
7. Bill O’Brien, Houston Texans
The clock officially begins ticking on O’Brien’s head coaching tenure in Houston after getting coached out of the stadium in New England Thursday night. O’Brien isn’t the first guy outcoached by Bill Belichick, but it was like he wasn’t even calling the same game. Maybe lacrosse is his sport…. shuttlecock… trampoline…
https://twitter.com/billbarnwell/status/779144798389305344
6. Jeff Fisher, Los Angeles Rams
I’ve got a whole screed on Fisher planned, but suffice it to say, he’s legitimately the second-worst coach in the league. The fact that there’s a rumor floating around of a three-year extension makes me want to jump off a bridge and do it before the presidential election so there won’t be a line.
5. Mike Mularkey, Tennessee Titans
I say Fisher is the second-worst coach, because this guy is the worst by a mile. Mularkey is 19-40 in his NFL head coaching career. That’s a rate of 32 percent. I would say his last name should be mud in coaching circles, but it’s already horse shit.
4. Mike McCoy, San Diego Chargers
In my Bold Predictions column to start the regular season, I forecast that, yes, McCoy would get fired, but in a twist no one could see coming, he would not be the first coach fired. After a Week One meltdown, I worried I might be proven wrong. But the Chargers picked up a win over the Jags last Sunday and McCoy lives another week.
https://twitter.com/FauxPhilipRiver/status/777627317954809856
3. Jim Caldwell, Detroit Lions
The only thing more confusing than the Lions hiring Jim Caldwell two seasons ago is that they didn’t fire him last year. He’s the reason Calvin Johnson retired. After Caldwell seemed to get off the fired list with his Week One win over the Colts, dropping a 15-14 game to the woeful Titans in the final seconds is how you get asked to clean out your desk.
2. Rex Ryan, Buffalo Bills
The first thing a coach does that’s on his way out the door is fire one of his coordinators. Rex gave Greg Roman the ax after helping Tyrod Taylor notch a 100-plus quarterback rating over the first two games of the season. But the 0-2 start was Roman’s fault. Totally.
1. Gus Bradley, Jacksonville Jaguars
Bradley is No. 1 with a bullet so somebody at his house better hide the firearms. The Jags came into the season with plenty of break-out hype. An 0-2 start has cleared the Jacksonville bandwagon like it was built over an Indian burial ground. If Bradley makes it to Halloween right now, I’ll be shocked.
Love the guy personally but this is type of game that gets Gus Bradley fired. https://t.co/iHHDnaQDzs
— Ross Tucker (@RossTuckerNFL) September 18, 2016
