It’s just our second week of putting together the Coach Ineptitude Rankings and we’ve already had a shake-up on the list. The Washington Redskins’ Jay Gruden and Indianapolis Colts’ Chuck Pagano escaped the rankings not so much because their teams won last Sunday, but because they were overtaken by other inept coaches. Needless to say, this thing is going down to the wire, or at least until the first guy is driven out into the desert in the trunk of a Buick.
Onward!
10. Chip Kelly, San Francisco 49ers
The only reason this is Chip Kelly’s first appearance on the list is because it’s only the second one I’ve put together. Few men have entered the NFL making more of a dent, only to have that dent filled in immediately by silly putty, dead rat parts and dented copies of the old E.T. Atari Game from that landfill in New Mexico.
Chip Kelly said he gave no consideration to playing Colin Kaepernick.
— Matt Maiocco (@MaioccoNBCS) September 25, 2016
9. Dirk Koetter, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
When the Tampa Bay Buccaneers announced the promotion of Dirk Koetter from offensive coordinator to head coach, it was just a matter of time until he ended up on this list. Specifically three weeks into the NFL season. Congratulations, Dirk, not only for your spot at No. 9, but on your pretty spectacular porn name.
8. Jeff Fisher, Los Angeles Rams
For as long as there are shitty coach lists, Jeff Fisher’s name will be on it. I don’t care that the Los Angeles Rams are 2-1. If God himself hadn’t stepped in with a lightning delay Sunday, Fisher’s team wouldn’t be sitting atop the NFC West today. In the Hall of Fame of Bad Coaches there’s a statue of Fisher tangled up in his headset with a mustache full of boogers.
https://twitter.com/justRVB/status/780176193416892416
7. Rex Ryan, Buffalo Bills
Rex Ryan floated out of New Era Field on a cloud of his own farts after beating an overrated Arizona Cardinals team last week. Now he has to see every NFL “expert” in America pick against him this week based on the coaching match up with the Patriots alone.
6. John Fox, Chicago Bears
You could argue that John Fox deserves better than this and you may be right. The guy looks bored. He’s been a head coach for 14 years. Maybe it’s time to sit back and relax on a nice TV job. Open a restaurant. Buy a boat. Take up fly fishing. Spew racists rants on Twitter. You know… the normal things retired sports figures do.
There’s part of me that wants to call the Lions media room and do the John Fox conference call for him. I’m pretty sure I could pull it off.
— Darin Gantt (@daringantt) September 28, 2016
5. Jim Caldwell, Detroit Lions
There are men that look lost in what they are doing and then there’s Jim Caldwell, who looks like he just woke up from a 10-year nap in a foreign country on another planet.
4. Bill O’Brien, Houston Texans
Bill O’Brien has announced, triumphantly, that he’ll take over playcalling duties for the Texans this week. I’ve never been more comfortable picking against the Texans.
According to sources #Texans coach Bill O'Brien is now calling the plays, taking those duties away from offensive coordinator George Godsey
— Mark Berman (@MarkBerman_) September 30, 2016
3. Mike McCoy, San Diego Chargers
Mike McCoy lives in the top three positions on this list and every day he continues to be allowed in the Chargers complex has to feel like its own little victory. I hope he enjoys that feeling. It happens so infrequently on the football field.
2. Mike Mularkey, Tennessee Titans
It feels almost triumphant at this point to have Mike Mularkey, the worst coach in the history of the NFL, so close to the top of the list. Just a natural fit. Mularkey just coached his 60th career game last Sunday and picked up his 41st career loss. I still, somehow, picked the Titans to win this weekend. I still don’t know why.
1. Gus Bradley, Jacksonville Jaguars
For the second consecutive week Gus Bradley tops the crap coaches list, thanks to another close and uninspiring loss last Sunday. This week he takes his shit show across the Atlantic to burden the people of Great Britain with his horrible gameday coaching. The Jaguars are one of the most talented, young teams in the league, yet somehow Bradley manages to make them look terrible each and every week. It’s really a feat, if you think about it.
If the Jags lose in London next week, will they just leave Gus Bradley in England?
— Adam Schein (@AdamSchein) September 25, 2016
Receiving votes: Adam Gase (Miami Dolphins), Chuck Pagano (Indianapolis Colts), Jay Gruden (Washington Redskins)
