To see Part 1 of the NFL Power Rankings click here.
15. Detroit Lions – (6-4) Speaking of the playoffs, the Lions control their own destiny in the NFC North. I still don’t think they’ll win it or even make the playoffs, but this team is talented enough that even Jim Caldwell can’t seem to screw it up. But he’s trying. Last week: 16
16. Minnesota Vikings – (6-4) After a month of free-falling in the rankings, the Vikings did the thing that makes everything better, win. Not only does Minnesota control its own destiny in the playoffs, they get Detroit on Thanksgiving with a chance to take a one-game lead in the division. Last week: 17
17. Arizona Cardinals – (4-5-1) Everyone’s favorite preseason Super Bowl pick is circling the drain and quarterback Carson Palmer keeps hitting the flusher like it’s a low-yield toilet. Last week: 11
18. Buffalo Bills – (5-5) I’ll say this for Rex Ryan as he continues to battle for his job every single week. He can win the games against other shitty teams in the rankings and horrible coaches. Frankly, with this many abysmal head men in the league right now that might be all it takes for long-term success. Last week: 18
19. Carolina Panthers – (4-6) The Panthers remain in the playoff race in spite over everything they’ve done to get out of it. The Raiders could help them figure out some January plans Sunday. Last week: 21
25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – (5-5) Jameis Winston has never started a football game at any level where he didn’t throw a touchdown pass. How is that even possible? Last week: 25
19. Baltimore Ravens – (5-5) I’ve mentioned the Ravens a couple of times before now, all in regards to the AFC playoff picture. I hope they’ve enjoyed it. It’ll be a picture they’ll soon be exiting. Last week: 20
23. Indianapolis Colts – (5-5) The Colts kind of look like they could get on a roll. They too control their own playoff destiny and then Andrew Luck ends up in the concussion protocol with a game against the Steelers on the docket. Somebody needs to check Chuck Pagano’s luggage for a rogue monkey’s paw. Last week: 19
22. New Orleans Saints – (4-6) With every passing week and heartbreaking loss, the specter of those HBO’s Hard Knocks cameras loom ever closer. Last week: 18
20. Cincinnati Bengals – (3-6-1) The good news for Marvin Lewis is he’ll still be a head coach in 2017 unless he retires. The better news is it’ll probably be in a place a lot warmer. Like the next team on the list, for instance. Last week: 16
27. San Diego Chargers – (4-6) Mike McCoy and the Chargers got a week off to prepare new and interesting ways to lose in the fourth quarter against the Texans Sunday. Last week: 25
24. Tennessee Titans – (5-6) Mike Mularkey will face fellow Coach Ineptitude List mainstay John Fox this week in a game he should win. So, really, there’s no way to tell what might happen. Last week: 26
26. Los Angeles Rams – (4-6) I’d just like to congratulate Jeff Fisher again for acquiring 162 head coaching losses, the second-most all-time, in an NFL record 22 years at the helm. God you suck so hard. I’m naming the Coach Ineptitude Rankings trophy after you. Last week: 30
28. New York Jets – (3-7) You know what can make a losing season feel like you won the Super Bowl? Beating the Patriots. I believe in you. (Not really, but it’d be nice). Last week: 24
29. Chicago Bears – (2-8) Jay Cutler is out for the Bears…(looks at paper)… forever. Hmmm. So that’s one of those new NFL injury designations. Last week: 28
30. Jacksonville Jaguars – (2-8) You’re already the worst head coach of the modern era, Gus Bradley. How much more do you have to prove? I remember when the Jags went up for sale there was speculation they would move to Los Angeles. L.A., you never had a chance. Last week: 29
31. San Francisco 49ers – (1-9) Chip Kelly, if you aren’t looking at a beautiful, gold and blue parachute sitting out there in Baton Rouge, you’re nuts. Last week: 31
32. Cleveland Browns – (0-11) Still no bye, Browns. What did you do to piss off Roger Goodell to make this happen? Last week: 32
