We are 13 weeks into the season and every single coach on this list is still employed in defiance of God Himself. With just a month to go it doesn’t look like we’ll get any in-season firings, only a deluge of men hitting the unemployment line like a dog turd thrown off an overpass at a semi truck’s windshield. This is a sorry group, so as a service I’m going to throw out a completely arbitrary “chance of getting fired” rating in each post.
10. Mike McCarthy, Green Bay Packers
Another easy draw with the Texans this week, without Jadaveon Clowney, will probably move McCarthy off the list. It really shouldn’t. Chance of getting fired: 30 percent
Mike McCarthy calls timeout, guaranteeing the Eagles score a TD on this drive.
— Zach Kruse (@zachkruse2) November 29, 2016
9. Mike Mularkey, Tennessee Titans
Mularkey continues to hover around the top of the list or receiving votes. He, Jeff Fisher, Gus Bradley, Mike McCoy and Jim Caldwell are the reason this list exists and three of those guys have completely escaped it. Mularkey might be next. Chance of getting fired: 0 percent
8. Bill O’Brien, Houston Texans
Welcome back to the Coach Ineptitude Rankings Bill O’Brien. You weren’t missed. Chance of getting fired: 40 percent
@SeanTPendergast so do you think Bill Obrien is the new Jeff fisher? Think he's smarter than what he is, and perennial .500 coach
— outtherebad (@outtherebad) December 2, 2016
7. Todd Bowles, New York Jets
Giving the go-ahead to draft Christian Hackenberg was enough to ruin the offseason, but the Jets have managed to crash and burn in the regular season too. New York has to win out to finish 8-8, but there’d be some poetic justice in that. They could knock the Patriots out of home field advantage on Christmas Eve, then knock the Bills out of the playoffs on New Year’s Day. Chance of getting fired: 10 percent
6. John Fox, Chicago Bears
Coach Fox is on his fourth quarterback of the season and is pulling guys out of the custodial staff to play back up. The defense has been consistently mediocre, but there have been a handful of bright spots. Is it enough for Fox to get one more season? Chance of getting fired: 30 percent
It gets worse: #Bears coach John Fox says they believe Danny Trevathan suffered a serious knee injury. I'm told they think ACL. MRI coming.
— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) November 27, 2016
5. Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati Bengals
There were rumblings that Lewis should have been fired after the Bengals’ historic collapse in the playoffs last season. Former quarterback Boomer Esiason even called for it on the air with CBS. He survived to coach 2016, but his team didn’t. Chance of getting fired: 90 percent
4. Jeff Fisher, Los Angeles Rams
With 163 losses in his head coaching career, Jeff Fisher has now moved into second place on the All-Time Losingest Coaches list all by his lonesome. He’s just two losses from tying for the all-time lead and three away from owning the record outright, all in a blistering 22 years. Fisher doesn’t have to be fired to not be the Rams’ head coach in 2017. His contract is up at the end of the season. Chance of getting an extension: 0 percent
.@EricDickerson asked Kevin Demoff point blank if Jeff Fisher will be back as Rams coach pic.twitter.com/O2ynUAARlT
— Herd w/Colin Cowherd (@TheHerd) December 2, 2016
3. Hue Jackson, Cleveland Browns
I’ve got a couple of friends who love the Browns, so seeing a guy in Cleveland attire tearing up like Hue Jackson did in his postgame press conference is nothing new to me. Chance of getting fired: 10 percent
2. Chip Kelly, San Francisco 49ers
The 49ers have lost 10 straight games, but over the last three have managed to hang around. Kelly’s offense continues to look uninspired and silly, but he has a handful of decent players that continue to do just enough to lose thanks to his completely incompetent leadership. Chance of getting fired: 40 percent
Mark Helfrich says he asked Chip Kelly to maybe return to UO and take his job in order to save the staff. Wow. Talk about selfless. #GoDucks
— Aaron J. Fentress (@AaronJFentress) December 2, 2016
1. Gus Bradley, Jacksonville Jaguars
There is a belief in NFL circles that no NFL team ever intentionally tanks. I believe it’s true. So many times I’ve seen a bad team screw up its draft position on the final week of the season, many times beating an opponent which they have no business even competing on the same field. Shad Khan, by his inaction, is doing his best to refute that claim. By continuing Bradley’s employment through the season Khan is assuring that his team will get the highest possible draft pick. Currently, it’ll be no worse than No. 4. With five games to go, he could even end up as nigh as No. 2. The new regime, whoever that’s going to be (and there are plenty of fantastic candidates this season), will have a loaded team and a full slate of high draft picks to use. This Jaguars job is a good one and the next guy, as long as Khan hires the right person, will be set. Chance of getting fired: 100 percent
This was the least dejected #Jaguars locker room I've been in — and I've covered all 45 losses under Gus Bradley.
— Hays Carlyon (@HaysCarlyon) November 27, 2016
Receiving votes: Rex Ryan (Buffalo Bills), Mike McCoy (San Diego Chargers), Chuck Pagano (Indianapolis Colts), Mike Zimmer (Minnesota Vikings)
