The top of the deck shuffles once again after a possible season defining Week Seven of the NFL season. While the talent on the list has seen some significant movement in recent weeks, the bottom teams just sit there. There seems to be no chance to escape for these teams currently locked in NFL purgatory. They’re like a turd at the bottom of a public toilet. Just something we’re all going to pretend we don’t see.
Let’s make this dream real!
1. Philadelphia Eagles – (6-1) Beating a pretty decent Redskins team for the second time in a season leaves no question to who should be No. 1. With the Eagles’ schedule ahead, they could be here a while. Last week: 1
2. New England Patriots – (5-2) Did the Patriots fix their defense or were the Falcons just that awful? We’ll see when the Chargers come to town Sunday. Last week: No. 2
3. Pittsburgh Steelers – (5-2) Two weeks after looking like they were folding up their tents, not only are the Steelers still alive, they’re right atop the AFC pack with the Pats and Chiefs. Last week: No. 4
4. Los Angeles Rams – (5-2) Jared Goff and Carson Wentz have both shown what a good, talented quarterback can do when he’s got the right coach. Wentz’s extra year with Doug Pederson and Goff’s lost year with Jeff Fisher are the difference between these two players right now. Last week: No. 6
5. Kansas City Chiefs – (5-2) Two consecutive losses before their bye week doesn’t wreck KC’s Super Bowl plans, but it does throw some cold water on what looked like the hottest team in the league. Last week: No. 3
6. Dallas Cowboys – (3-3) The Cowboys got their season back on track with a win last week. Now they have to keep it going against a Redskins team fighting to stay relevant in the NFC East. Last week: No. 7
7. Seattle Seahawks – (4-2) Another slow start could have cost the Seahawks if they were playing any team other than the Giants. The Texans are a dangerous foe Sunday. Last week: No. 8
8. Minnesota Vikings – (5-2) It’s still the Case Keenum show for now, but Teddy Bridgewater is warming up in the bullpen for later this season. That’s an elbow tap Mike Zimmer is dying to make. Last week: No. 11
9. New Orleans Saints – (4-2) And just like that, a team that looked like it was heading for a Top 10 pick in the first two weeks of the season is leading the NFC South. Last week: No. 17
10. Washington Redskins – (3-3) It’s been a rough stretch of games for the Redskins and their schedule is just killing them. It won’t get any easier. After the Cowboys, it’s the Seahawks and then the Saints. Last week: No. 5
11. Oakland Raiders – (3-4) Derek Carr continues to get healthier and the Raiders basically saved their young season with a win over the Chiefs last Sunday in the best TNF game of all time. Last week: No. 15
12. Carolina Panthers – (4-3) Another week, another Cam Newton public embarrassment. Maybe he’s right to just shun the media right now. Last week: No. 13
13. Detroit Lions – (3-3) I like how the Lions went right into the tank the minute the ink was dry on Jim Caldwell’s new contract. Last week: No. 14
14. Buffalo Bills – (4-2) When am I going to be convinced this Bills team is as good as its record? How about if they beat the Raiders Sunday? Last week: No. 20
15. Houston Texans – (3-3) If the Texans roll out of Seattle with a win, they may have smooth sailing to their third straight AFC South title. Last week: No. 16
16. Tennessee Titans – (4-3) The Titans fell back to Earth against the Browns last week, but still managed a win. Now they won’t even have to worry about Mike Mularkey’s inability to coach a team to three wins in a row because they have a bye. Last week: No. 18
17. Miami Dolphins – (4-2) I finally picked this Dolphins team right next week. To reward them, I picked them again. Don’t let me down. Last week: No. 22
18. Jacksonville Jaguars – (4-3) Leonard Fournette was out and the Jags still got it done. I don’t remember the last time they had a winning record at this point in the season. Last week: No. 24
19. Green Bay Packers – (4-3) I thought Brett Hundley would be OK in his first NFL start, but his performance left a lot to be desired. He’ll have a bye week to prepare for his next game. Last week: No. 9
20. Atlanta Falcons – (3-3) I dared you to prove me wrong, Falcons, and you were even worse than I expected. I ask again, how does Steve Sarkisian still have a job today? Last week: No. 10
21. Los Angeles Chargers – (3-4) Anthony Lynn wins two games in a row and has a legitimate chance at three at Gillette Stadium Sunday. Yeah, I wrote that. Last week: No. 26
22. Denver Broncos – (3-3) The Broncos are who I thought they were. That’s not good for them and Trevor Siemian is looking more like a career back up every day. Last week: No. 12
23. Baltimore Ravens – (3-3) The Ravens will get one chance Thursday night to right the ship against a beatable Dolphins team. I don’t think they can do it. Last week: No. 19
24. Arizona Cardinals – (3-4) Adrian Peterson looked more like the guy the Saints shipped out last Sunday. Now the team has to play without Carson Palmer too. Last week: No. 21
25. New York Jets – (3-4) At least you’re keeping it entertaining, Jets. No one thought that would be possible back in August. Last week: No. 23
26. Chicago Bears – (3-4) Mitchell Trubisky attempted just seven passes last week and the Bears won. SEVEN. Talk about a high school offense… Last week: No. 29
27. Cincinnati Bengals – (2-4) The competitive spark came on a little late in the season for this Bengals team, but they’ll make it interesting for whoever they face the rest of the way. Last week: No. 25
28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – (2-4) That was a bad, season defining loss Sunday in Buffalo, Buccaneers. No playoffs for you. Last week: No. 16
29. Indianapolis Colts – (2-5) Andrew Luck still isn’t ready to play, but the Colts are saying they’ll suit him up when he’s cleared, no matter their record. If you needed any other excuse to fire Chuck Pagano, there it is. Luck should just be shut down this season. Last week: No. 23
30. New York Giants – (1-6) Speaking of coaches that deserve to be fired, Ben McAdoo should already be cleaning out his desk. Last week: No. 30
31. San Francisco 49ers – (0-7) Over the last month and a half the 49ers have at least battled in every loss. Last Sunday they didn’t even do that. Last week: No. 31
32. Cleveland Browns – (0-7) In spite of benching him for Cody Kessler, DeShone Kizer gets the call again with the Minnesota Vikings defense coming to Cleveland. Damn. Last week: No. 32
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