We’re down to our last two weeks of relevant NFL Power Rankings. Of course, you could argue that they’re never actually relevant. In which case I would just nod, shrug and post them anyway. Enjoy. Happy Holidays!
Here’s how it plays out for NFL Week 16.
1. Philadelphia Eagles – (12-2) Nick Foles played exceptionally well against the Giants. Who knew that losing Carson Wentz would hurt the defense? Last week: 2
2. New England Patriots – (11-3) The Patriots have an uncanny ability to force their opposing team to call the dumbest possible plays at the worst possible times. It’s how they’ve won their last two Super Bowls. Last week: No. 3
3. Pittsburgh Steelers – (11-3) You should be ashamed, letting that Patriots game get away from you like it did. Fix it by winning the whole damn thing. Last week: No. 1
4. Minnesota Vikings – (11-3) If the Eagles do stumble in the next two weeks, and it could happen, the Vikings could get home field advantage all the way through the Super Bowl. With Case Keenum? Yeah. Last week: No. 4
5. Los Angeles Rams – (10-4) With an emphatic curb stomp on the Seattle Seahawks Sunday, the Rams could lay claim of the NFC West for the next decade. They’ve got the young talent and young coach to do it. Last week: No. 5
6. New Orleans Saints – (10-4) To me, the Saints might be the only NFC team with any real chance of winning the Super Bowl this season. They still need to win out to secure a home playoff game. Last week: No. 7
7. Carolina Panthers – (10-4) If the Saints do stumble, it could very well be the Panthers that show up in the big game. The NFC is top-loaded, but all of these teams are relatively evenly matched. Last week: No. 6
8. Jacksonville Jaguars – (10-4) Of all the AFC teams vying for the Super Bowl, the Jaguars have the most realistic chance of supplanting the Steelers or Patriots. They’re also the only AFC team an NFC team could beat in the title game. Last week: No. 9
9. Atlanta Falcons – (9-5) I compared the Falcons to Jason Vorhees last week and they responded by putting an ax through Tampa Bay. They’re still alive until somebody takes them out. Last week: No. 10
10. Seattle Seahawks – (8-6) After getting embarrassed at home by the Rams Sunday, the Seahawks’ season comes down to their game against the Dallas Cowboys this week. Last week: No. 8
11. Kansas City Chiefs – (8-6) The Chiefs have decided to show up again, just in time for the playoffs. This could really shake things up if they go on a tear like they did in September and October. The talent is on this roster to beat anybody. Last week: No.12
12. Tennessee Titans – (8-6) Here’s a shocker; a Mike Mularkey-coached team stumbles when it can’t and is in danger of missing the playoffs in a year where they should have waltzed right to an AFC South title. Fire this guy. Last week: No. 11
13. Dallas Cowboys – (8-6) The Cowboys, thanks to a Packers loss last Sunday, have a lot more control over their playoff destiny. They still have to win out, but that should be easier with Ezekiel Elliott back on the field. Last week: No. 13
14. Baltimore Ravens – (8-6) The Ravens are still on the outside of the AFC playoff picture, but just barely. My guess is that they’ll win out and make it in as the No. 6. Then, will playoff Joe Flacco show up? It’s a scary thought. Last week: No. 14
15. Buffalo Bills – (8-6) If anyone had told me the Bills would be in the playoff picture in Week 16 back in the preseason, I would have spit my drink in their face. Sean McDermott has done a hell of a job up there. Too good, really. This team has a ton of holes and really needed to pick higher in the draft to fill them, especially at quarterback. Last week: No. 15
16. Detroit Lions – (8-6) In spite of their own inept head coaching situation, the Lions find themselves right outside the playoff mix. Detroit fans better hope they don’t make it. The fact they slid in backwards last season is how you got stuck with Jim Caldwell again. Last week: No. 18
17. Green Bay Packers – (7-7) It’s Brett Hundley’s show again with Aaron Rodgers joining the Elf on the Shelf. Hopefully for his sake he can make the most of it and land a shot at a starting job next season. Last week: No. 16
18. Los Angeles Chargers – (7-7) When you look at the talent on this roster and their consistent lackluster finishes, at some point you have to blame ownership for continually saddling this team with some of the worst coaches in the league. Last week: No. 17
19. Washington Redskins – (6-8) Speaking of bad head coaches, Jay Gruden could be on his way out in Washington. All that means is, congratulations on your new head coach, Cincinnati Bengals! Last week: No. 22
20. Miami Dolphins – (6-8) Adam Gase again worked a miracle keeping this team in the hunt this late with his garbage quarterback situation. You hate to always say, “wait until next year,” but with Miami that might actually mean something. Last week: No. 19
21. Arizona Cardinals – (6-8) Blaine Gabbert’s tenure as the starting quarterback for the Cardinals has come to an end. Drew Stanton now has the con. Last week: No. 20
22. Oakland Raiders – (6-8) Of all the huge disappointments this season, the Raiders have to be the biggest. I’m not sure Oakland will end up missing this team when it’s all over. They shouldn’t. Last week: No. 21
23. Denver Broncos – (5-9) With two meaningless games to go, of course Brock Osweiler looks like Joe Montana. What did any of us expect? Last week: No. 25
24. Cincinnati Bengals – (5-9) Do you think Mike Brown is already working on Jay Gruden’s 10-year contract? He’s got to strike while the iron’s hot. Who’s his back up plan? Butch Jones? Last week: No. 23
25. New York Jets – (5-9) Five wins, Todd Bowles. I never would have believed it possible. 0-16? Way more likely. Last week: No. 24
26. San Francisco 49ers – (4-10) Jimmy Garoppolo is now 5-0 as a starter in the NFL. Not only has he seemingly fixed the 49ers’ quarterback situation, his presence there completely re-shuffles the quarterbacks in the draft and free agency. Specifically, Kirk Cousins, who was all but guaranteed the starting job in San Fran next season. Last week: No. 29
27. Chicago Bears – (4-10) The Bears too are looking at another possible coaching change. They have some good, young talent with which to woo somebody if they do move on from John Fox. Last week: No. 26
28. Houston Texans – (4-10) On the subject of coaching changes, Deshaun Watson has said he hopes to play for Bill O’Brien for his entire career, backing the return of his embattled and shitty head coach. Watson really is a saint. Last week: No. 27
29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – (4-10) They really are going to let Dirk Koetter swing in the wind all season. That’s cold, Tampa. Last week: No. 28
30. Indianapolis Colts – (3-11) It’s like you can’t write about the teams at the bottom of the list without mentioning how quickly and ruthlessly their head coach should be fired. Odd how that works out. Last week: No. 30
31. New York Giants – (2-12) Steve Spagnuolo probably really thinks he has a chance to keep the head coaching job with the Giants and I think that’s adorable. Last week: No. 31
32. Cleveland Browns – (0-14) It’s down to two games, Browns. Do you have the stones to pull off 0-16? Last week: No. 32
To make a wager on any sport, go to the world famous Diamond Sportsbook by clicking here.
