By the time you read this you will already be broke. Black Friday is upon us and what better time to relax in the evening and read my NFL picks and shenanigans. It will be the only thing you do today that won’t cost you money.
First, let’s get fired up properly.
Sunday Early Games
Tennessee at Chicago (+5.5)
Mike Mularkey continues to enjoy the best season of his professional coaching life with the Titans (5-6). Tennessee is far too loaded and in way too shitty a division to be this inconsistent, but Mularkey has done his best to keep them there. The bears (2-8) just don’t present enough of a challenge, especially with their No. 4 quarterback under center. I like Matt Barkley and, frankly, if a real NFL coach would keep him on the team and develop him, he’d be the best QB on their roster. As it is, Chicago just comes into this out-manned across the board. Congratulations, Mike. You’re about be .500 again. Titans 38, Bears 20
Jacksonville at Buffalo (-7.5)
Rex Ryan and the Bills (5-5) continue to benefit from a ridiculous schedule that just might keep him employed in Buffalo one more season. For Gus Bradley and the Jagaurs (2-8), their time to part ways has long since passed, but owner Shad Khan seems content to pay Bradley a salary for the rest of the season. Considering the draft position the Jags will be working with, it may not be a bad strategy. Bills 27, Jags 17
Cincinnati at Baltimore (-4)
The Ravens (5-5) continue to hang on in the AFC North and can’t afford to lose a game. The Bengals (3-6-1) will be without A.J. Green and Giovani Bernard, so their offense will consist of Tyler Eifert getting quadruple teamed and Andy Dalton getting sacked. Ravens 27, Bengals 24
Arizona at Atlanta (-5.5)
This is the beginning of a murderer’s row for the Cardinals (4-5-1) that shouldn’t cost Bruce Arians his job, but will likely spell the end of Carson Palmer’s career. The good news for the Falcons (6-4) is that day hasn’t come yet, so get ready Atlanta DBs. It’s time to collect some contract incentives. Falcons 42, Cardinals 30
New York Giants at Cleveland (+7)
I know you’re not supposed to bet on your own games, but even Eli Manning has to be starting himself in his FanDuel line up this week. The Giants (7-3) are cruising to the playoffs and can all but sew up a spot with a win over the Browns (0-11). Cleveland has to have a bye at some point, right? Giants 31, Browns 10
Los Angeles at New Orleans (-7)
The problem with the Rams (4-6) right now is their talent level. They’ve got so much of it, especially on defense, that they’re in every game. As someone who wants Jeff Fisher escorted out of the NFL sooner, rather than later, that’s always worrisome. Lucky for me the Saints (4-6) are looking to put two bad wins behind them and stay in the playoff race. Saints 20, Rams 16
San Francisco at Miami (-7.5)
Don’t look now but the Dolphins (6-4) have won five games in a row. OK, you took too long to look and now they’ve won six in a row thanks to the completely inept 49ers (1-9). Dolphins 27, 49ers 24
San Diego at Houston (+1.5)
Bill O’Brien continues to somehow have the Texans (6-4) not only in playoff contention, but leading the AFC South. Mike McCoy has avoided the ax so far with the Chargers (4-6) and has made a habit of beating his fellow Coach Ineptitude Ranking peers. Chargers 34, Texans 24
Sunday Late Games
Seattle at Tampa Bay (+6)
The Bucs (5-5) have been on a nice little tear so it’s really too bad they’re traveling to Seattle Sunday. The Seahawks (7-2-1) are in January mode and probably won’t let this one be close. Seahawks 37, Buccaneers 20
Carolina at Oakland (-3.5)
The Panthers (4-6) have battled their way back into contention only to find themselves facing one of the best teams in the league the weekend before December. The Raiders (8-2) have made a point to win the games they’re supposed to win and can finish in the fourth quarter. I think this one will be closer than the spread, but I still like Oakland. Raiders 27, Panthers 24
New England at New York Jets (+7.5)
Tom Brady is hurt, but will still take the field for the Patriots (8-2). The Jets (3-7) always find a way to play New England tough and this game is basically their Super Bowl at this point. I’ve spent all week trying to talk myself out of doing this, but I’m going for it. Fitzmas comes early this year. Jets 27, Patriots 24
Sunday Night
Kansas City at Denver (-3.5)
The Broncos (7-3) are lucky to be where they are. The Chiefs (7-3) had to earn their record the hard way. Denver is coming off a bye, but Kansas City is coming off a bad loss. Nothing will fix that better than a victory at Mile High. Chiefs 24, Broncos 23
Monday Night
Green Bay at Philadelphia (-4)
Somehow the Eagles (5-5) get another prime time game, this time against the Packers (4-6) who are completely outside the playoff picture. Somebody will be free to make January plans after this one. Packers 30, Eagles 24
This Week
Straight up: 2-1
Against the spread: 1-2
Last Week
Straight up: 11-3
Against the spread: 10-4
Season
Straight up: 95-64-2
Against the spread: 86-75
