Still alive? Working out those meat sweats and still hung over from all that pumpkin pie? Good, because Thanksgiving is over and we still have 12 NFL games to pick and we’re making it a Black Friday Special. Here’s the rest of your Week 12 slate picked through the haze of gravy-covered leftovers in the Friday Afternoon Quarterback.
Seattle Seahawks at Carolina Panthers (-3, O/U: 46.5)
I’m thinking it’s time for the Panthers to take a break from being terrible and go ahead and wrap up Seattle’s playoff hopes. Panthers 24, Seahawks 21
Related: NFL Betting Guide | NFL Parlay Betting
New England Patriots at New York Jets (+10, O/U: 47.5)
I like how in sportswriting we have to pretend Sam Darnold starting in this game would make even the slightest bit of difference. Patriots 40, Jets 13
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles (-6, O/U: 47)
The Giants have suddenly become the most dangerous terrible team in the NFL. I still think the Eagles can take them and, honestly, I’m not ready to write off Philly’s playoff chances just yet. Eagles 31, Giants 20
Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills (+3, O/U: 37)
I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen the Bills a +3 dog. Yes, Jaguars. You should take that as the insult the sportsbooks intended it to be. Jaguars 17, Bills 10
Oakland Raiders at Baltimore Ravens (-10.5, O/U: 42.5)
I, uh…. -10.5? Are we serious? The Raiders have been a colossal waste of NFL talent and money, but -10.5 against a quarterback that can’t complete a downfield pass? Sure, you’ve got Jon Gruden vs. John Harbaugh, but … hold on, if I keep going I’ll talk myself into it. Ravens 16, Raiders 10
San Francisco 49ers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3, O/U: 54)
Oh man, here’s the match up we’ve all been waiting for. Get ready for another classic Nick Mullens vs. Jameis Winston quarterback duel. Buccaneers 27, 49ers 13
Cleveland Browns at Cincinnati Bengals (-3, O/U: 46)
If you can’t bear to watch to see the Mullens vs. Winston fireworks show, tune over to see the epic chess match between Marvin Lewis/Hue Jackson and Gregg Williams. Bengals 30, Browns 24
Arizona Cardinals at Los Angeles Chargers (-12.5, O/U: 43.5)
The only way Steve Wilks survives this offseason is if he somehow steals Jason Garrett’s monkey’s paw. Chargers 31, Cardinals 16
Miami Dolphins at Indianapolis Colts (-8, O/U: 51)
And just like that, Andrew Luck is in the NFL MVP conversation. Colts 31, Dolphins 13
Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos (+3, O/U: 46.5)
Case Keenum wasted his one come-from-behind performance of the year against the Chargers last week. Steelers 33, Broncos 16
Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings (-3.5, O/U: 47.5)
If the Vikings really want to set up their long-term NFC North success, they need to make Mike McCarthy look like a genius playcaller in this contest. Really play the long con. Vikings 27, Packers 20
Tennessee Titans at Houston Texans (-6.5, O/U: 41.5)
The only thing crazier than the idea that Bill O’Brien could lead the Texans to eight wins in a row is that Mike Vrabel could lead Tennessee to an upset on the road. Texans 27, Titans 19
This week
Straight up: 2-1
Against the spread: 1-2
Last week
Straight up: 8-5
Against the spread: 6-7
Season
Straight up: 92-67-2
Against the spread: 80-81
