December is upon us as well as the final push to the NFL playoffs. Cleveland finally got its bye, so good for them. I’m sure it’ll be nice to wake up Monday morning without a fresh loss hanging over you. The Titans too have a bye, which just gives head coach Mike Mularkey one more week to enjoy that .500 record before it all turns to shit.
We’re picking games here and, as always, need to get jacked before we start. When this song appeared on my radio this week, I knew it would be just the thing to take us into the NFL’s final stretch.
Byes: Browns and Titans
Sunday Early Games
Kansas City at Atlanta (-4.5)
The Chiefs (8-3) roll into the dirty south after big AFC West win over the Broncos. The Falcons (7-4) continue to be unpredictable every week, but put a spanking on the Cardinals last Sunday so thorough Arizona spent the fourth quarter shouting out safe words. Falcons 27, Chiefs 20
Detroit at New Orleans (-6)
The Lions (7-4) are in the driver’s seat in the NFC North. The Saints (5-6) are still pushing for a wild card spot and an opportunity to tell NFL Films to suck it. Saints 36, Lions 33
Los Angeles at New England (-13)
Rob Gronkowski is officially out for the year, but the Patriots (9-2) still have Tom Brady and the Rams (4-7) still have Jeff Fisher. Patriots 24, Rams 14
Denver at Jacksonville (+3.5)
Trevor Siemian is officially out for the Broncos (7-4). The Jaguars (2-9) are a team the Broncos could probably beat without even fielding a quarterback. As it is, Paxton Lynch will get the chance to pick up his first NFL win so congratulations in advance, buddy. Broncos 24, Jaguars 10
Houston at Green Bay (-6.5)
I hope you enjoyed being over .500 while you could, Texans (6-5). The Packers (5-6) are still led by Mike McCarthy and that’s a problem, but with Bill O’Brien burping up mac and cheese on the other sideline, it won’t show as bad this week. Packers 24, Texans 13
Philadelphia at Cincinnati (-1.5)
The Eagles (5-6) have fallen to earth so hard lately that they’re in a protected bird sanctuary. The Bengals (3-7-1) have outdone even that, and have been moved from the endangered species list to “possibly extinct.” Eagles 26, Bengals 23
Miami at Baltimore (-3.5)
I don’t understand exactly how the flex schedule the NFL makes with the networks functions, but here’s what I do know; The Dolphins (7-4) and the Ravens (6-5) are both deep in the playoff hunt. Miami is sitting in a wild card position and can’t afford to lose. Baltimore is currently leading the AFC North by a tiebreaker and can’t afford to lose. How is this not a better Monday Night Football game than Colts – Jets? Ravens 17, Dolphins 14
San Francisco at Chicago (EVEN)
Any worry the Browns had of winning a game and knocking themselves out of the No. 1 pick ends with this game. The 49ers (1-10) have played just good enough to lose for weeks. The Bears (2-9) look like they’re already planning their offseason tropical vacations early. Take note. This is, officially, the first time I’ve picked San Francisco to win this season. 49ers 23, Bears 20
Sunday Late Games
Buffalo at Oakland (-3)
Let’s talk flex scheduling again. Here we have the Bills (6-5) right outside the playoff race, but in it. We also have the Raiders (9-2) not only trying to clinch a playoff spot but home field advantage as well. Plus, you know, Oakland is a pretty fun team to watch. Maybe this one could have been pushed to Sunday or Monday night too is what I’m saying. Raiders 23, Bills 20
New York Giants at Pittsburgh (-6.5)
I don’t have to lament the flex scheduling on this game, because it’s already been hit. The Giants (8-3) and the Steelers (6-5) are America’s Game of the Week on FOX and present what is probably our first, legit, potential Super Bowl match up of the season. Steelers 27, Giants 24
Washington at Arizona (-2)
This Cardinals (4-6-1) line is ridiculous. At some point the sportsbooks have to take the Redskins (6-4-1) seriously. It took me a while too, guys. I get it. And I’ll say it again, this Washington team won’t make the playoffs, but they’re tough and are sure as hell better than Arizona. Redskins 31, Cardinals 23
Tampa Bay at San Diego (-4)
Look at you, Chargers (5-6) all favored at home. Feels nice, doesn’t it. This Buccaneers (6-5) team is not only above .500, they’re playing as well as anyone in the league right now. Mike McCoy and Dirk Koetter were both mainstays on the Coach Ineptitude List, but Koetter has been off for weeks and McCoy (spoiler alert) was bumped from the main list this week. This isn’t the game of the week, but might just end up the most fun to watch. Chargers 34, Bucs 31
Sunday Night
Carolina at Seattle (-7)
I see the draw of this game, but with the Panthers (4-7) already realistically out of the playoffs, there’s no reason for this to be a prime time game on any network, let alone the premier NFL showcase of the week. The only interesting angle is the Seahawks (7-3-1) coming in with a bloody nose delivered by the Buccaneers last week… kind of like getting beaten up by your baby brother. Seahawks 30, Panthers 24
Monday Night
Indianapolis at New York Jets (+2)
So here we are. The Colts (5-6) and the Jets (3-8) face off in prime time in a game that nobody would watch on purpose Sunday. You’re supposed to be better than this, MNF. Jon Gruden, if this match-up doesn’t give you the excuse you need to come back to coaching, what will? Colts 31, Jets 24
This Week
Straight up: 1-0
Against the spread: 0-1
Last Week
Straight up: 13-3
Against the spread: 10-6
Season
Straight up: 108-67-2
Against the spread: 96-81
