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Friday Afternoon Quarterback: NFL Week 17

Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

Here we are, the final week of the NFL season and we’re blessed with plenty of games with playoff implications to switch back and forth between on your NFL Sunday Ticket subscription. As for the games that don’t concern the postseason, there’s still plenty of intrigue as teams make important decisions on their coaching staffs and a handful of young quarterbacks either get their first starts, or solidify their positions.

As always, we start off with a little music to get in the right mood.

Sunday Early

Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions (-6.5), O/U: 43.0

Brett Hundley is likely playing his final game with the Packers (7-8), but he’ll be upstaged by Jim Caldwell’s final game as the head coach of the Lions (8-7). When are these dumbass owners going to learn to stop giving coaches like Caldwell off-season extensions? Or hiring them in the first place? Lions 26, Packers 20

Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts (-5), O/U: 40.0

Jay Glazer at Fox Sports says we might have as many as 13 head coaches fired at the end of the day Sunday and early Monday. Both the guys coaching in this game should be on that list. The best thing the Texans (4-11) could do to help their young roster is lose Bill O’Brien and the Colts (3-12) should have fired Chuck Pagano a year ago. Colts 14, Texans 10

Chicago Bears at Minnesota Vikings (-11.5), O/U: 39.0

John Fox of the Bears (5-10) bragged this week that he’s not had trouble finding a job in the NFL before. For Chicago’s sake, I hope they put that to the test. I’ve not seen any indication Teddy Bridgewater is getting the start for the Vikings (12-3) in this game, but he should. Vikings 27, Bears 23

New York Jets at New England Patriots (-15), O/U: 43.0

Here’s our first game with actual playoff implications. The Patriots (12-3) can secure home field advantage with a victory. The Jets (5-10) can become American heroes by keeping that from happening. Patriots 24, Jets 19

Washington Redskins at New York Giants (+3), O/U: 39.5

Ben McAdoo was the only head coach to get fired during the season. Jay Gruden at least made it to the final day of the year before cleaning out his desk for the Redskins (7-8). Don’t be too sad for him. He likely be headed back to the loving arms of Mike Brown in Cincinnati where mediocrity is cherished. The Giants (2-13) just hired Dave Gettleman as their general manager and have beaten everyone to the punch on their head coaching search. That means they’ll get the best guy, right? Right? Redskins 33, Giants 19

Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles (+2.5), O/U: 39.0

Nick Foles is officially preparing to play the entire game against the Cowboys (8-7), but that’s just asking for trouble. The Eagles (13-2) need to be smart and let Matt McGloin take over, suck it up, and get out of this one healthy. Cowboys 31, Eagles 20

Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (-6.5), O/U: 36.5

If the Patriots lose, the Steelers (12-3) will nab home field in the AFC playoffs with a victory. The Browns (0-15), on the other hand, are vying to ruin that and stave off becoming the worst team in NFL history. Hue Jackson has promised to jump into Lake Erie if Cleveland wins. My guess is he’ll be pretty dry at the end of the day. Steelers 23, Browns 13

Sunday Late

Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons (-3.5), O/U: 45.0

It’s cruel for the NFL to put the Falcons (9-6) in this situation. If they win, they’re in the playoffs. The Panthers (11-4) can win the NFC South with a victory and a Saints loss. Since all three teams are playing at the same time, Carolina has no reason to take its foot off the gas. Panthers 27, Falcons 23

Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens (-9.5), O/U: 40.0

As Jay Gruden already measures Marvin Lewis’ office for new carpet, the Bengals (6-9) can at least add some intrigue to the Baltimore’s postseason plans. The Ravens (9-6) guarantee a spot if they win and are likely to get into the playoffs even if they lose. They won’t. Ravens 31, Bengals 17

Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins (+2.5), O/U: 42.5

The Dolphins (6-9) just beat the Patriots at this field a couple of weeks ago. There’s no excuse to fall to a far inferior Bills (8-7) team, even one playing for a postseason berth. Dolphins 26, Bills 23

New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+6.5), O/U: 50.0

Dirk Koetter has somehow made it to the final game of the regular season as head coach of the Buccaneers (4-11). Now who wants to bet he’s still in the building at 9 p.m. EST Sunday night? The Saints (11-4) are NFC South Champs with a victory. Saints 41, Buccaneers 19

Jacksonville Jaguars at Tennessee Titans (-3), O/U: 41.5

Titans (8-7) head coach Mike Mularkey also faces a win-and-you’re-in scenario when his team hosts the AFC South champion Jaguars (10-5). I’ve never felt more confident about a pick. Jaguars 27, Titans 16

Kansas City Chiefs at Denver Broncos (-3.5), O/U: 38.0

Patrick Mahomes will get his first start for the Chiefs (9-6). Brock Osweiler is getting his, I don’t know, 15th start for the Broncos (5-10). If Vance Joseph deserves to keep this job, with his defense, he should be able to corral a rookie QB, no matter how good he is. Broncos 17, Chiefs 16

Oakland Raiders at Los Angeles Chargers (-7.5), O/U: 42.0

Here is its, your final pick for the AFC playoffs. The Chargers (9-7) could not have made a worse hire as head coach than Anthony Lynn. But, if the guy can lead his team over the Raiders (6-9) and the Bills lose, he’s in the playoffs. A playoff appearance here adds at least one more season to Lynn’s tenure in Los Angeles. Sorry Chargers fans. You deserve better. All four of you. Chargers 31, Raiders 27

San Francisco 49ers at Los Angeles Rams (+3.5), O/U: 43.5

The Rams (11-4) are sitting pretty much every player that counts. The 49ers (5-10) are riding one of the hottest streaks in the sport with a fresh, new franchise quarterback. I say Jimmy GQ gets to 6-0 as a starter, but it’s close. 49ers 31, Rams 30

Arizona Cardinals at Seattle Seahawks (-9.5), O/U: 38.5

The Cardinals (7-8) come into this game with a chance at a .500 finish, capping a disastrous season in the best way possible. The Seahawks (9-6) have an opportunity for a playoff berth with a victory and a Falcons loss. You already know how I see it. Seahawks 34, Cardinals 23

Last week

Straight up: 10-6

Against the spread: 5-11

Season

Straight up: 149-91

Against the spread: 124-116

To make a wager on any sport, go to the world famous Diamond Sportsbook by clicking here.

Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

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