No Thursday night games, no Monday night games. We’ve got a weekend of mostly old-school football with the exception of our Sunday night regular season finale. The Friday Afternoon Quarterback is here to help you either break it all down, make fun of it, or serve as an example on how not to pick NFL games. Let’s make this dream real.
Early Games
New York Jets at Buffalo (+2.5)
The last time these two teams met the Bills embarrassed the Jets in the Meadowlands and I think Rex Ryan has just enough left up his sleeve to do it again. After all, he’s been knocking the Jets out of the playoffs for years as their coach. Why stop now? Bills 17, Jets 14
New England at Miami (+10)
Somewhere in the multiverse there’s a Planet Earth, much like ours, where the Dolphins can win this game and knock the Patriots out of the AFC home field advantage. We do not live on that Planet Earth. Patriots 34, Dolphins 17
New Orleans at Atlanta (-5.5)
The Falcons have finally got their act together, but it’s too little too late for a playoff berth. It isn’t too late to put about 50 on the Saints. Falcons 44, Saints 38
Baltimore at Cincinnati (-9)
The Ravens got their gift win at home with Ryan Mallett at QB over the Steelers. The Bengals won’t be so hospitable in Cincinnati, especially when they’re still playing for a possible first-round bye. Bengals 30, Ravens 10.
Pittsburgh at Cleveland (+10.5)
The Browns are due for a Shawshank Redemption style shower scene in this one, regardless of what happens in the Jets – Bills game. Pittsburgh has to win and the Jets have to lose to make the playoffs. The Steelers will do their part. Steelers 40, Browns 13
Jacksonville at Houston (-6.5)
Houston hasn’t clinched the AFC North yet, but can with a win over what’s currently the second best team in their division. If they lose, they’ll need some help from Tennessee and since that team hasn’t won since the whip and nae nae was still a thing. Texans 20, Jags 13
Tennessee at Indianapolis (Even)
The Colts are starting a guy that was on a practice squad two weeks ago and the Titans are starting Zach Mettenberger. You can see why there’s an Even line here. Titans 14, Colts 10
Washington at Dallas (-3.5)
The Redskins have nothing to play for other than the desire to come into the playoffs on a winning streak and firing on, if not all cylanders, at least as many cylanders as they can muster. For a team realistically looking at a one-and-done playoff appearance, there’s no reason to go in there 8-8. Win this one for your fans, Skins. Redskins 24, Cowboys 10.
Philadelphia at New York Giants (-3.5)
At the beginning of the season this was supposed to be the game for the NFC East crown or a top wildcard spot. Now it’s the game that will send one of these teams into the Top 10 of April’s NFL Draft. Giants 24, Eagles 13
Detroit at Chicago (+1)
This game should be the end of Jim Caldwell’s NFL head coaching career for good. Even Lions fans have to be rooting for the Bears at this point. Bears 28, Lions 27
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Late Games
Tampa Bay at Carolina (-10)
The perfect season is gone, letting the Panthers out of jail as far as that pressure goes. The Cardinals made sure they’ll still have something to play for this week too. The Panthers need to win to secure homefield advantage in the playoffs. The Bucs are here to help. Panthers 34, Bucs 14
Oakland at Kansas City (-7)
The Chiefs are still battling for something too. A win and a Denver loss and they’ll be AFC West champas. Oakland is exactly the kind of team than can ruin the Chiefs’ day. Chiefs 27, Raiders 24
San Diego at Denver (-9)
Peyton Manning is backing up Brock Osweiler this week, healthy enough to be an emergency stand-in, but not start. Denver has a tough decision in two weeks and unless they win the Super Bowl, it will be a decision second-guessed for eternity. Broncos 30, Chargers 16
Seattle at Arizona (-6.5)
The dessicated remains of the Seattle Seahawks roll into Phoenix to take one last beat-down before getting knocked out of the playoffs in the opening round in Green Bay. Cardinals 31, Seahawks 20
St. Louis at San Francisco (+3)
Todd Gurley probably won’t play but that won’t keep Jeff Fisher from running up the score in a meaningless game to try to stave off being fired for one more season. That one more season is all he’s going to get. Rams 31, 49ers 9
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Minnesota at Green Bay (-3)
Of all the games with meaning in the final week of the season, this one has the most weight. The winner is the AFC North champion and the loser hits the road as the wild card, playing the Redskins. So honestly there is no real “loser” here at all. Packers 27, Vikings 20
That’s the last regular season Friday Afternoon Quarterback and the first one of 2016. I hope everybody reading had a safe and happy New Year and paid no attention to my Bowl predictions, which were mostly a nightmare.
Last Week:
Straight up: 9-7
Against the spread: 6-10
Overall
Straight up: 133-107
Against the spread: 112-128
Survivor pool picks: 33-17
