As the Indianapolis Colts solidified their hold on the AFC South with a quarterback that 31 other teams wouldn’t make their starter against the Houston Texans who can’t decide on one, I’m reminded of that old cliche; If you have two quarterbacks, you really have none.
Such is the problem in Houston, where both Brian Hoyer and Ryan Mallett can look decent at times, and completely terrible at times. The Texans can’t settle on a guy, because neither are “the guy.” They’re both back-ups and should enjoy long careers as such. The Texans need a legitimate starter and, fortunately for them, there are a maybe three coming out in April’s NFL draft.
What the Texans have to do now to make sure they get one is keep losing. I don’t think that will be a problem.
Byes: Miami, Minnesota, New York Jets and Carolina
[related_post_one]
Early Games
Chicago at Kansas City (-9)
Kansas City’s season is reeling so bad that Andy Reid has basically been living in the chocolate fountain at Golden Corral. The Bears are are to help, but I don’t like that spread at all. Chiefs 20, Bears 17
Seattle at Cincinnati (-3)
This is the game I’m most excited about. The Bengals had two chances to be killers this season and delivered in both games (the Ravens and Chiefs). Now they get a Seahawks team that’s barely 2-2 with more protection problems than a Kevin Federline baby mama. Russell Wilson may have to file a restraining order on Geno Atkins after this one. Bengals 24, Seahawks 21
Washington at Atlanta (-7)
The Falcons are on fire and the Redskins are a perennial dumpster fire. Washington on the road this season has looked exactly as bad as you think they would. Take the over. Falcons 48, Redskins 13 (survivor pool pick)
Jacksonville at Tampa Bay (-2.5)
Tampa Bay has to be licking their chops at this Jaguars team coming into town. Did they happen to notice that the Jags are doing plenty of chop-licking of their own. Jaguars 17, Bucs 10
New Orleans at Philadelphia (-5)
Two 1-3 teams each battling to pretend they’re in the race for an open postseason spot. That’s cute. The Saints finally got their offense rolling and Drew Brees is healthier. On the bright side for fantasy owners, there won’t be any excuse not to run DeMarco Murray against this porous Saints defense. But Chip Kelly has never needed an excuse not to run DeMarco Murray. Saints 31, Eagles 30
Cleveland at Baltimore (-6.5)
The Browns have three quarterbacks on their roster and, without a doubt, are starting the worst one every week. For the Ravens, Joe Flacco has looked a lot like the lost McCown brother, but Cleveland might help fix that for good. Ravens 38, Browns 13 (survivor pool pick)
St. Louis at Green Bay (-9)
Which Rams team will we see this week? The bad team that shows up against bad team, or the tough, four-quarter monster that takes down the NFL’s best? It won’t matter because Aaron Rodgers is playing the best football of his career. Packers 38, Rams 30
Buffalo at Tennessee (+1)
The Titans are our only home dog in the early games. The Bills are smarting after a tough loss to the much-better Giants and taking on a rookie quarterback is just what they need to get back on track. The only problem is Marcus Mariota hasn’t played like a rookie yet. Bills 20, Titans 19
[related_post_two]
Late Games
Arizona at Detroit (+3)
I think their performance against Seattle on Monday night might have pumped the books a little on the Loins for this game. The Cardinals should see that three points as an insult they most rectify by dropping 30 or so in the first half. Cardinals 41, Lions 24 (survivor pool pick)
New England at Dallas (+8.5)
So we live in a world now where it’s controversial that Greg Hardy thinks Tom Brady’s supermodel wife is attractive. This makes me want to twitter in the face. Bill Belichick has had two weeks to prepare for Brandon Weedon. let that sink in a little bit. Patriots 31, Cowboys 17 (survivor pool pick)
Denver at Oakland (+4.5)
Of all the home dogs, this is the only one that makes me nervous. Denver should win this game based on their defense alone, but that’s probably underselling how good Derek Carr and Amari Cooper have been for Oakland this season. It’s not time to pass the torch yet, but Carr and Cooper have their oven mits on order for next season. Broncos 24, Raiders 16
Sunday Night
San Francisco at New York Giants (-7)
Another game you wish NBC could have flexed out of. Jim Tomsula comes to MetLife Stadium to make the men’s rooms uninhabitable for the first time as 49ers head coach. He might as well just stay in there. Giants 48, 49ers 13 (survivor pool pick)
Monday Night
Pittsburgh at San Diego (-3)
Anybody want to tell me how Michael Vick, who can’t throw downfield or complete a mid-level pass, is a better fit than Landry Jones, a guy that’s actually been in the Steelers’ system a few years? Maybe you want to start the guy that can actually get the ball to Antonio Brown 15 yards past the line of scrimmage. I don’t know. And here’s the real question, am I the only one that has no doubt the Steelers win last week with Tim Tebow at QB? Chargers 31, Steelers 12
This week
Straight up: 0-1
Against the spread: 1-0
Last week
Straight up: 11-3
Against the spread: 10-4
Survivor pool picks: 4-0
Overall
Straight up: 36-26
Against the spread: 36-26
Survivor pool picks: 13-4
