Our conference championship games are set after a pretty spectacular NFL Divisional Round. On the NFC side, you have the Green Bay Packers at the Atlanta Falcons and on the AFC side, you have the Pittsburgh Steelers at Those Assholes.
Yeah. We have to talk about that first.
So Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown, following the instructions the social media Gods have sent us on our stone iPad tablets, celebrated his team’s divisional round victory over the Kansas City Chiefs that propelled the Steelers to the AFC Championship Game and a rematch with the New England Patriots by going on Facebook live and having a grand old time.
There were a couple of problems that arose from this. First, Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin called the team together to speak to them. Brown kept Facebook rolling and here’s is what we all got to hear Tomlin say.
“When you get to this point in the journey, not a lot needs to be said,” Tomlin said. “Let’s say very little moving forward. Let’s start our preparations. We spotted those assholes a day and a half. They played yesterday, our game got moved to tonight. We gonna touch down at 4 o’clock in the f–king morning. So be it. We’ll be ready for their ass.”
At this point, one of the players (not Brown, obviously) made an ironic request.
“Keep it cool on social media,” the poor guy said. “This is about us. Nobody else, man.”
About two hours later the video had nearly a million views, so that didn’t quite work out.
Let’s talk about this like adults for a moment. Is this really bulletin board material? I mean, did the New England Patriots not know that they were assholes? Is this how they found out?
Oh yes.. today on NFL LIVE we'll be discussing @AntonioBrown and his use of Facebook live in the locker room.. while we facebook live it
— trey wingo (@wingoz) January 16, 2017
Calling the Patriots assholes is, literally, the best thing any human being could say about them. It’s easily the nicest thing I’ve heard said about New England in a decade. If anyone in the Patriots organization is shocked at being called an asshole, it should only be because Tomlin could have used so many far superior descriptive terms for the most despicable team in professional sports.
Terms like
Cheating bastards
Evil motherf–kers
Satan’s c–ks—ers
Donald Trump’s favorite team
The list goes on. Calling the Patriots “those assholes” is no more prejorative than calling a kid “champ” or “sport” because you don’t know his name.
NFL Championship games, lines and totals
NFC Championship: Green Bay at Atlanta (-4.5, 61 O/U)
That’s a hell of a total and I’m not even sure it stays there by the end of the week. The Packers are scary as hell after the way Aaron Rodgers played against the Dallas Cowboys Sunday and the Falcons should be just as frightening after completely obliterating the Seattle Seahawks Saturday.
The books took a bath in the divisional round for some reason, so lines and totals could shoot around all over the place by the time I make my picks Thursday. What I don’t like is that this is the early game, slated for 3:05 p.m. I hate when the Patriots have the late game. It makes it so difficult to enjoy the day.
AFC Championship: Pittsburgh at New England (-5.5, 51 O/U)
I don’t expect this line or totals to stay there by Thursday at all. The total could easily climb up in the 60 range. That’s a lot of respect for the Patriots to be able to hem in Roethlisberger, Brown and Bell when they haven’t faced them all together at the same time in years.
The 6:40 p.m. EST start time means that all of America will need to invest heavily in antacids for the day. Might I recommend a version of omeprazole. You can go ahead and take it in the morning and it should be with you most of the day. You should safely be able to take as much as 40 mg in a 24 hour period and you may need both doses. Especially if Those Assholes win.
To make a wager on this week’s NFL games, go to the world famous Diamond Sportsbook by clicking here.
