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NFL First Quarter Grades Part 1

We’ve reached the end of first quarter of the 2016 NFL season so there’s no better time to take a look at who’s over-performed, who under-performed and who’s already playing for that No. 1 NFL Draft pick in 2017. Here are the grades so far.

The Dean’s List

Minnesota Vikings (4-0), Denver Broncos (4-0), New England Patriots (3-1)

The best teams in the league get a little extra love because no one, and I mean no one, expected any of these teams to post these records in the first month of the season. The Vikings looked completely fried after starting quarterback Teddy Bridgewater sustained a knee injury so severe in practice his teammates actually vomited at the site of it. The Broncos were breaking in a quarterback or two that had never taken a meaningful snap in an NFL game and the Patriots, damn them, were opening the season without Tom Brady at quarterback. Not only did they win without Brady, it didn’t matter who they put in behind center.

Minnesota traded for Sam Bradford right before the season began and is arguably better than they would have been with Bridgewater. The Broncos have flat out dominated with Trevor Siemien and Paxton Lynch and the Patriots now get Tom Brady back fresh from his naked ass vacation he went on with Gisele and for his first game back he gets to dismantle the hapless Cleveland Browns. It’s ridiculous.

https://twitter.com/NeetaSreekanth/status/783729432599076871

There’s no reason these teams won’t just continue rolling. The Vikings don’t play a team I would pick to beat them until they face the Dallas Cowboys on Dec. 1 and that’s only if Tony Romo hasn’t been plugged back in at quarterback. The Pats have a killer October where they’ll play the Bengals, the Steelers and the Seahawks, but at worst they come out of that stretch 1-2, still with a chance at a 12-win season. The Broncos face only three teams that could conceivably beat them the rest of the year (the Pats and the Raiders twice). Not only are all three of these teams making the playoffs, that Pats – Broncos game on Dec. 18 probably will decide AFC home field advantage.

Magna Cum Laude

Pittsburgh Steelers (3-1), Baltimore Ravens (3-1), Philadelphia Eagles (3-0), Dallas Cowboys (3-1), Seattle Seahawks (3-1)

After your three surprises we get the best of the rest, with my AFC Super Bowl pick looking pretty strong in the Pittsburgh Steelers. Everyone expected the Steelers and the Seahawks to be good this season, but the Cowboys and Eagles, both led by rookie quarterbacks, have been legitimate surprises to some. Not me, you know, but some.

The Ravens were obviously due for a bounce back year after every significant player on the roster was injured last year. They’ve still got one of the best coaches in the game, John Harbaugh, and one of its best quarterbacks in Joe Flacco. The Ravens’ defense has been a bright spot too and is currently the top unit in the NFL. They’ve been able to win close games, come from behind and make the clutch plays.

As for the Steelers, the turd they laid against the Eagles was more than made up for by the complete and total Shawshank shower scene they put on against the Chiefs last Sunday night. They’ve got Le’Veon Bell back from suspension just in time and don’t play a good team until they host the Patriots at Heinz Field on Oct. 23.

What can I say about Dak Prescott and Carson Wentz I haven’t reiterated over-and-over again here, on Twitter, on Facebook, on Instagram and on my weekly radio show over and over again? For some reason this whole drafting an NFL quarterback is a real mystery to scouts and teams when it always seems simple to me.

DRAFT DIGRESSION – In 2015 I had Marcus Mariota No. 1 and Jameis Winston No. 2, but both first rounders. In 2014 there was no question that Teddy Bridgewater was the best QB in that draft by a mile. I had Bortles No. 2, Derek Carr No. 3 and Johnny Manziel No. 4 (even though I thought the Texans would draft him to sell jerseys and fill the stadium). And truth be told, I’m not particularly proud of that 2014 list. I whiffed completely on Jimmy Garoppolo as a non factor and Manziel, obviously, shouldn’t have been drafted at all considering his personality and substance abuse issues. Plus, I’d rank Carr ahead of Bortles now and was only wary of him because of the way his older brother David’s NFL career fizzled out.

So I can fall victim to the “perception” too, guys. I get it. But I’m about to help you out.

If you are an NFL scout and come across this article, I want you to read the following sentence aloud to yourself as many times as it takes. Don’t be fooled by bullshit leading up to this next draft. Clemson’s DeShaun Watson is the best quarterback coming out by a mile and the only one worth a first round pick. Now repeat that to yourself. First guy that says DeShone Kizer gets punched in the throat.

More grades coming Saturday.

Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

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