Hello all NFL Power Rankings aficionados at home and abroad. Welcome to the only rankings that had the Dallas Cowboys atop the list for the last month or so while everyone else talked up the Patriots. I’m not saying I know more than all these other jokers. I’ll let you say it. Here’s the rankings for Week 11.
1. Dallas Cowboys – (8-1) The Cowboys went into Heinz Stadium, faced a terrific Steelers team with Ben Roethlisberger at the top of his game and beat them. Dak Prescott solidified his position so thoroughly that Tony Romo came out and handed him the keys. This team is not only built to win now, but for a long time. Last week: 1
2. Seattle Seahawks – (6-2-1) So the Seahawks are back. Not only did they emphatically announce that fact on Sunday Night Football, they did it at Foxboro, a place where wins from opposing teams are few and far between. Last week: 4
3. New York Giants – (6-3) While the Cowboys are skating away with the NFC East, the only team to beat them this season is primed to grab that first wild card spot. And no team wants to face Eli Manning in the playoffs. Last week: 7
4. Kansas City Chiefs – (7-2) With Alex Smith or Nick Foles at quarterback, this team continually finds a way to make the AFC West race the most interesting in the NFL. Last week: 8
5. Oakland Raiders – (7-2) There’s a push among NFL fans for a Raiders vs. Cowboys Super Bowl. Nothing would be better for the league or worse for Oakland, who might have to watch their franchise move east to Las Vegas next season. Last week: 5
6. Denver Broncos – (7-3) Of all the teams listening intently to Tony Romo announce his surrender to inevitability Tuesday, none were more attentive than the Broncos who have to see another Super Bowl championship riding on Dallas’ bennch. Last week: 6
7. New England Patriots – (7-2) Not only did the Patriots lose at home against the Seahawks, they also lost Rob Gronkowski for at least a week. Tom Brady didn’t have a bad game, but his MVP campaign certainly took a hit. Last week: 2
8. Atlanta Falcons – (6-4) Of all the mysteries of the 2016 season (and just the year itself, damn), the Falcons are the most difficult to solve. On the right day they look like the best team in the league. On the wrong day they lose to the Buccaneers. Last week: 3
9. Philadelphia Eagles – (5-4) Anytime I’m ready to write off the Eagles, they pull off an upset win and get right back into the NFC wild card mix. If Doug Pederson isn’t the frontrunner for coach of the year, no one should be. Last week: 11
10. Pittsburgh Steelers – (4-5) Ben Roethlisberger put his annual post-injury shit game behind him and played outstanding against the Cowboys, only come up just short. This week he’ll face the Browns, so, you know, everything’s going to be alright. Last week: 10
11. Arizona Cardinals – (4-4-1) The Cardinals are another mystery team. Not because I think they should be better. I was the only one not fooled by that, picking them to flatly miss the playoffs entirely. But I’d like to get them out of the top half of the list. the problem is the middling teams this year are so inconsistent Arizona continues to hover around the Top 10. Last week: 13
12. Houston Texans – (6-3) The AFC South continues to be a dumpster fire and the Houston Texans are the one-winged crow feasting on a roasting rat king carcass smoldering inside it. Last week: 14
13. Green Bay Packers – (4-5) The Packers are 4-5 at this point in the season for the first time in almost a decade. You’d think that would be the death knell for Mike McCarthy’s tenure with the team. But Aaron Rodgers is just good enough to screw that up by winning enough games to sneak into the playoffs. After losing to Mike Mularkey and the Titans, McCarthy should have been shitcanned on the Nashville airport tarmac. Last week: 12
Click here for Part 2 of the Week 11 NFL Power Rankings.
