NFL Week 14 Power Rankings

We can’t really call it a shake up at the top of our NFL Power Rankings, but we do have a new No. 1. Most of the real movers and shakers are in the middle of the pack, as teams scramble to see who will be the first teams eliminated from the playoffs on Wild Card Weekend.

Here’s how it plays out for Week 14.

1. New England Patriots – (10-2) As long as Tom Brady is healthy and playing at this level, the Patriots will continue to be a nightmare until somebody knocks them out of the playoffs. I’m not feeling great about our chances of that happening. Last week: No. 2

2. Pittsburgh Steelers – (10-2) If there’s a team that has the talent to remove our New England-shaped boil, it’s the Steelers. They just need to make a preemptive strike in a couple of weeks to keep home field advantage. Last week: No. 3

3. Minnesota Vikings – (10-2) Two months ago, a psychic named Ruth Lordan gave Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer a lucky crystal ball. Since then the team has won eight straight games? Coincidence? Yes. But in a twist you didn’t see coming, Zimmer was really a ghost this whole time! Last week: No. 4

4. Philadelphia Eagles – (10-2) The Eagles steamroller stalled up last week in a pretty convincing loss to the Seahawks on the road. Now they have to bounce back against the Rams in Los Angeles. Last week: 1

5. Los Angeles Rams – (9-3) The Rams have one of the toughest schedules left in the league ahead of them, but the playoffs remain on the horizon and the team has already posted its first winning record since 2003. Last week: No. 5

6. New Orleans Saints – (9-3) The Saints open up our Week 14 of NFL action against the Falcons Thursday night, a team that swept them on the way to a Super Bowl last season. Time to make a statement. Last week: No. 6

7. Carolina Panthers – (8-4) Yeah, the Panthers lost last week, but I’m not dropping them out of this spot. I don’t see any team that deserves to jump them yet. The team no one is talking about is playing a pre-playoff, playoff schedule with the Saints and Vikings in consecutive weeks. Last week: No. 7

8. Seattle Seahawks – (8-4) The Seahawks are underdogs facing off against Blake Bortles and the Jaguars this week. I’m not sure how I feel about that, especially coming after a pretty dominant win over the Eagles. Last week: No. 9

9. Tennessee Titans – (8-4) Speaking of the Jaguars, the Titans and Jags are neck-and-neck thanks to the very team Tennessee is playing this week, the Arizona Cardinals. Don’t screw it up. Last week: No. 10

10. Jacksonville Jaguars – (8-4) The Jags let their old bust quarterback Blaine Gabbert knock them out of the top spot in the AFC South. It’s the first time he ever had an impact on their playoff seeding in his career. Yep, they still move up a spot. Look who’s below them. Last week: No. 11

11. Atlanta Falcons – (7-5) The Falcons have spun their wheels on offense most of the season, and were absolutely horrendous last week against the Vikings. No chance of a scoring title this year, Atlanta. And if you lose Thursday night, maybe no playoffs either. Last week: No. 8

12. Baltimore Ravens – (7-5) The Ravens went to hanging on to a playoff spot by a talon to actually having a solid grip. Now here comes the Steelers Sunday night to break their fingers. Last week: No. 12

13. Kansas City Chiefs – (6-6) The Chiefs are blowing their season so thoroughly, they’ve just been offered a sponsorship from Brazzers. Last week: No.12

14. Dallas Cowboys – (6-6) The Cowboys still cling to life in the playoff hunt, but have to win out. The new-look Giants are here to help. Last week: No. 16

15. Detroit Lions – (6-6) Speaking of teams with a snowball’s chance in hell of making the playoffs, the Lions get the Bucs Sunday to improve their chances. Last week: No. 14

16. Buffalo Bills – (6-6) It looks like Tyrod Taylor will play when the Bills host the Colts. Now, will it even matter? Last week: No. 15

18. Oakland Raiders – (6-6) As much as the Raiders have tried to ruin their season, they’re not only still in the playoff race, they have a chance to take over the AFC West Sunday. It’s a long season. Last week: No. 18

19. Green Bay Packers – (6-6) Brett Hundley gets rewarded for two solid weeks of quarterbacking with a trip to Cleveland for a glorified bye week against the Browns. Enjoy. Last week: No. 19

20. Los Angeles Chargers – (6-6) Here’s a fun fact; From what I can tell, if the Chargers and Raiders both win this week, it’s Los Angeles who will actually be leading the AFC West. Unreal. Last week: No. 20

21. Washington Redskins – (5-7) The problem with the Chargers’ chances is, I think the Redskins (the team they’re playing) are just better. They’ve had a much tougher schedule. Last week: No. 17

22. Cincinnati Bengals – (5-7) The Marvin Lewis farewell tour returns to Cincinnati this week. He’ll face off a fellow coach who might be sitting on a studio show set next week in John Fox and the Chicago Bears. Maybe they can help each other work on camera prep? Last week: No. 22

23. Arizona Cardinals – (5-7) Blaine Gabbert, you can’t stop him, you can only hope he never has to quarterback your football team for any extended period of time. Last week: No. 21

24. New York Jets – (5-7) Tod Bowles isn’t going to be mentioned in any Coach of the Year conversations, but the fact that he has this squad, one of the worst rosters in the NFL, alive for the postseason with four games to go is astounding. Last week: No. 26

25. Miami Dolphins – (5-7) Here’s a fun little fact; The Patriots, under Bill Belichick, are 8-9 on the road in Miami. Do us all a favor here, Adam Gase, and make it 8-10. Last week: No. 23

26. Houston Texans – (4-8) The Texans are just playing out the stretch at this point, wishing they could just sim straight to Free Agency like on Madden. Last week: No. 25

27. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – (4-8) With Ben McAdoo hitting the bricks, the clock is now ticking on Dirk Koetter. A loss to the Lions at home Sunday might seal his fate. Last week: No. 24

28. Indianapolis Colts – (3-9) Speaking of coaches that should be fired, did the rumor about Jon Gruden being interested in the Giants job help Chuck Pagano sleep any easier this week? Last week: No. 28

27. Denver Broncos – (3-9) Maybe win a few games before you cry about John Elway calling you “soft,” Broncos. Speaking of Elway, I’ve got a feeling he has his “Manning Dialing Finger” poised and ready at the end of the season. Last week: No. 28

29. Chicago Bears – (3-9) John Fox vs Marvin Lewis in the Unemployment Bowl, Sunday. Be there. I’m sure you can pick up a ticket on the ground or in the gutter somewhere. Last week: No. 29

30. New York Giants – (2-10) You know in his poor little heart, Steve Spagnuolo really thinks he has a chance of keeping the head coaching job in New York. Adorable. Last week: No. 30