There was quite a bit of shuffling after the top handful of teams this week. Let’s get right to it.
1. New England Patriots – (6-0) This is the seventh power rankings poll I’ve put together and the Patriots have been at the top of every one. Damn, I am sick of seeing them there. Can Dan Campbell and the Dolphins do anything about it? Last week: No. 1
2. Green Bay Packers – (6-0) Aaron Rodgers comes off his bye week and will face off against one of the best defenses in the NFL with the Denver Broncos. Good for him he brings a pretty good defense along with him. Last week: No. 2
3. Cincinnati Bengals – (6-0) The Bengals will face their biggest test since the Seahawks with Ben Roethlisberger coming back for the Steelers this week. Can they be killers again? Last week: No. 3
4. Carolina Panthers – (6-0) The Panthers think no one respects them and until last week, I was one of those people. No one is ignoring the Panthers anymore. Last week: No. 5
5. Denver Broncos – (6-0) The Broncos and Packers are the first battle of undefeated teams of the season. I don’t think it’ll go well for the Broncos, but playing the Packers seldom goes well for anybody. Last week: 4
6. Atlanta Falcons – (6-1) That was a surprisingly scary game against the Titans. For your sake, I hope it’s an aberration since you’ve got a nice selection of cupcakes coming up on the schedule for the next two weeks. Last week: No. 7
7. Arizona Cardinals – (5-2) The Ravens are a surprisingly tough opponent for a team with a terrible record. You’ll find the Browns much more accommodating this week. Last week: No. 8
8. St. Louis Rams – (3-3) The Rams sneak back into the Top 10 with an unspectacular and kind of boring victory over the Browns that they should have won by 40. Let’s save the celebrating until you beat the 49ers this week. Last week: No. 11
9. New York Jets – (4-2) A dropped touchdown by Brandon Marshall helped keep the Patriots undefeated and put the Jets in second place. They’ll get another shot, but they can’t afford to drop a game against a spunky Raiders team that seems to play much better at the home their ownership seems determined to leave. Last week: No. 6
10. New York Giants – (4-3) This last victory over the Cowboys may have been a turning point for the Giants. They actually benefited from their opponent’s mistakes and made very few of their own. Last week: No. 12
11. Pittsburgh Steelers – (4-3) Ben Roethlisberger is back for what’s turned out to be the game of the year. A game, that frankly, I’d have picked no different regardless of who the Steelers were playing at quarterback. Last week: No. 9
12. Seattle Seahawks – (3-4) I keep seeing that “the Seahawks are back,” but it’ll take more than a victory over the hapless 49ers to convince me of that. The offensive line is a still a problem, but not one uncommon in the NFC West outside of Arizona this season. Last week: No. 13
13. Buffalo Bills – (3-4) I should probably drop the Bills more after falling to the Jaguars in London, but who do I put above them? The Colts? The Eagles? Nope. The Bills keep the same spot by virtue of every other team playing awful too. Last week: No. 14
14. Indianapolis Colts – (3-4) The Patriots loss probably isn’t the reason Chuck Pagano will get fired this season. Last Sunday’s loss to the Saints will probably factor in, though. Last week: No. 15
15. Minnesota Vikings – (4-2) We’re seven weeks into the season and the Vikings are not only still in the playoff race, they’ve not even been realistically eliminated from the NFC North race. How many times in recent history has that happened? Last week: No. 16
16. Philadelphia Eagles – (3-4) Somewhere in southern California in a room full of leather chairs a group of USC alumni all lit cigars and nodded at each other in the low light of the television. Last week: No. 10
17. New Orleans Saints – (3-4) After the first month of the season it looked like the Saints would be battling for a top pick. Now four weeks later they’re in the battle for a playoff spot. Last week: No. 19
18. Miami Dolphins – (3-3) After their recent performances, it may seem unfair to just move the Dolphins up just two spots. Beat the Patriots and I’ll fix it. Trust me. Last week: No. 20
19. Oakland Raiders – (3-3) You’ve got the Jets coming to town and it won’t get any easier with the Steelers and Vikings on the horizon, but if you can steal one of these games you’ve got some cream puffs in the oven courtesy of Detroit, Tennessee and Kansas City. Last week: No. 22
20. San Francisco 49ers – (2-5) The 49ers’ season is all but over and with each loss, the team’s weaknesses, coaching and talent problems become more exposed than Jim Tomsula’s butt crack when he bends over to pick up a Cool Ranch Dorito he dropped on the floor. Last week: No. 17
21. Houston Texans – (2-5) Ryan Mallett “overslept” once again, missing the team’s flight to their ass whipping in Miami. Mallett won’t have to worry about oversleeping with the Texans ever again. Last week: No. 18
22. San Diego Chargers – (2-5) Mike McCoy is all but determined to pass up Jim Caldwell in the “Coaches to be Fired” race and you’ve got to respect the job he’s doing. It’s difficult to suck so bad with an offensive roster this loaded. Last week: No. 21
23. Washington Redskins – (3-4) When I go through the teams and place them, I thought about moving the Redskins up after their biggest comeback victory in team history. But it was against the Bucs, so the fact that they needed “the biggest comeback in team history” actually counts against them. Last week: No. 23
24. Kansas City Chiefs – (2-5) Andy Reid won his second game of the year, but as an effort of self-flagellation instead of celebrating at Golden Corral, he instead decided to go to Ryan’s. The G.C. is for consistent winners and he knows it. Last week: No. 25
25. Tennessee Titans – (1-5) If Marcus Mariota wasn’t hurt, you have to think the Titans would have stolen that game against the Falcons last Sunday. As it was, Zach Mettenberger was more birthday clown than burglar. Last week: No. 24
26. Dallas Cowboys – (2-4) It’s still about a month before Tony Romo can return from his collar bone injury. There may not be much of a team to come back to. The good news for the Cowboys is, even though Greg Hardy abused a coach on the sidelines, he didn’t pile-drive him into a shotgun display. Baby steps. Last week: No. 26
27. Cleveland Browns – (2-4) Johnny Manziel came in for an injured Josh McCown and finished with a 3.8 quarterback rating which immediately made 49ers owner Jed York offer him a $60 million contract. Last week: No. 27
28. Jacksonville Jaguars – (2-5) The Jaguars had to leave the country to win a game. They play their next two games on the road, so maybe they can force all their coaches to help by speaking in English accents. Last week: No. 29
29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – (2-4) I would bring up how bad it is to be involved in an historic late-game choke-job, but frankly I can’t believe the Buccaneers had a lead in that game to begin with. Last week: No. 28
30. Baltimore Ravens – (1-6) The Ravens’s six losses have been by six, four, four, three, five and eight points. There’s a good team in there that is just watching the season slip right through their fingers. Last week: No. 31
31. Detroit Lions – (1-6) Jim Caldwell fired his offensive staff this week because that’s the problem, obviously. Not him. Last week: No. 30
32. Chicago Bears – (2-4) I’m not moving you up on a bye after a Lions loss, Bears. You’ll have to dig yourselves out of this hole yourself. Last week: No. 32
