We had a nice little shuffle this week as all but one team that entered the weekend undefeated remained that way. And teams that seemed like they were ready to become powers over the first few weeks have fallen to earth. Here’s this week’s poll. I don’t expect it to look the same next week.
1. New England Patriots – (5-0) Thanks is large part to some help from the referees and the worst fake punt call in NFL hisotry, the Patriots keep the top spot. Donnie Wahlberg even took to facebook last Sunday to calm down his fellow trash-talking Pats fans to no avail. If NKOTB’s Donnie can’t kill that noise, what can? Last week: No. 1
2. Green Bay Packers – (6-0) Aaron Rodgers kicked off his latest no interception streak at Lambeau with a 27-20 win over the San Diego Chargers, but some cracks seemed to have formed in that Packers’ defense that Philip Rivers passed for 500 yards and two touchdowns against. Last week: No. 2
3. Cincinnati Bengals – (6-0) The Bengals continue to be killers with what I think may be their biggest back-to-back wins of the last few seasons. Cincinnati has always played well against other NFC North teams. It’s outside the division where they’ve looked more Marmaduke than Shere Khan. Not this year.. Last week: No. 4
4. Denver Broncos – (6-0) Talk all the crap you want about how badly Peyton Mannning’s playing, because he doesn’t care. No one in Denver should either. He continues to show up when it counts and will finish the season healthier than he’s been in years. Last week: 5
5. Carolina Panthers – (5-0) Cam Newton exorcised his team’s Seattle Seahawks demon emphatically last week in Seattle with a performance that should put strike feat in every NFC potential playoff team. Just imagine how good the Panthers would be right now if Kelvin Benjamin hadn’t gotten hurt. Last week: No. 7
6. New York Jets – (4-1) Rex Ryan and the Buffalo Bills have run their mouths, but here we are at week seven and look who’s ready to take on the Patriots with first place in the AFC East on the line. Last week: No. 8
7. Atlanta Falcons – (5-1) The loss to the Saints doesn’t derail anything for the Falcons and lucky for them the Tennessee Titans show up on the schedule just in time to make everything better. Last week: No. 3
8. Arizona Cardinals – (4-2) The loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers (on their third quarterback no less) exposed the Cardinals as the pretenders they are. The NFC West is a wide open race now and if the Cards are looking older by the second. It’s like they picked the wrong grail. Last week: No. 6
9. Pittsburgh Steelers – (4-2) I thought whatever dark magic was driving the Steelers to win without Ben Roethlisberger had run out last week, but somebody must have found a rogue monkey’s paw under the couch cushions. Last week: No. 12
10. Philadelphia Eagles – (3-3) If the Eagles keep winning they’re really going to spoil the party the USC alumni have planned come January. Last week: No. 14
11. St. Louis Rams – (2-3) Speaking of USC, Jeff Fisher’s name is also bandied about in connection with that school’s job opening. And just like Chip Kelly, all he has to do to shut it up is win some games. The Cleveland Browns will offer their assistance this week. Last week: No. 15
12. New York Giants – (3-3) If the Giants want to make a real run this year, and they certainly can, they’ll have to perform a head-ectomy on their own asses to do it. I hear there’s a good clinic in Mexico that specializes in that procedure.. Last week: No. 9
13. Seattle Seahawks – (2-4) The Seahawks come into this week in dire need of a bye, but they got the next best thing. A trip to San Francisco to take on the 49ers. Last week: No. 10
14. Buffalo Bills – (3-3) The Bills keep losing and the now-svelte Rex Ryan can’t even console himself with a plate full of his city’s signature Buffalo Wings. host their second big game of the year against a hot, undefeated team in the Cincinnati Bengals. The last time that happened they trailed by about 135 points at halftime. Last week: No. 11
15. Indianapolis Colts – (3-3) Colts. Man. What the hell? At least you’ve got Andrew Luck back and you’ll need him if New Orleans decides to keep playing NFL-level football. It’s kind of a week-to-week thing with them. Last week: No. 13
16. Minnesota Vikings – (3-2) I mentioned in my latest What We Learned column that if they playoffs started today, the Vikings would be in. Enjoy that while it lasts. Last week: No. 16
17. San Francisco 49ers – (2-4) The 49ers not only make the biggest jump of th week, but maybe the biggest jump of any team this season. Sure, the team got a lot of help from the horrible turf at their stadium, but Colin Kaepernick actually laid down a quarterback rating in the low 80s. Pathetic, yes, but this is the same guy that had a 3.2 rating three weeks before. Single digits. Last week: No. 31
18. Houston Texans – (2-4) With the Titans and Miami Dolphins coming up on the schedule, any halfway decent team should be 4-4 coming into their bye. So, you know, expect the Texans to be 3-5. Last week: No. 19
19. New Orleans Saints – (2-4) Look who finally decided to show up to the NFL season a month late. The upcoming trip to Indianapolis may make you wish you didn’t show up at all. Last week: No. 20
20. Miami Dolphins – (2-3) I didn’t believe in Dan Campbell and still don’t, but adding Al Saunders to the offensive staff to help out Bill Lazor may turn out to make one hell of a difference. Last week: No. 27
21. San Diego Chargers – (2-4) The Chargers showed up and played just well enough to lose against the Packers. What if they played that hard every week, like say against Oakland Sunday. Wouldn’t that be crazy? Last week: No. 22
22. Oakland Raiders – (2-3) I’m sure the Raiders are sick of hearing about their bright future, but they shouldn’t be. Before last season, that future looked more like a pile of roadkill possums in an incinerator. So the glass is half-full, guys. Last week: No. 23
23. Washington Redskins – (2-4) I don’t get the Redskins. I don’t think they do either, but Tampa Bay is coming to town so, you know, do that thing you do… which is win and ruin the upcoming draft position for your next head coach. Last week: No. 24
24. Tennessee Titans – (1-4) Last week I thought the Dolphins would come in with a fresh batch of cupcakes for the Titans to feast on, but I didn’t realize how good a host Marcus Mariota was. He’d already baked up a heaping tray of his own. Last week: No. 25
25. Kansas City Chiefs – (1-5) Andy Reid needs to already be thinking about his transition out of the NFL as the Chiefs’ season continues to go down the toilet. There’s a chance he could end up with ESPN or CBS Sports, but if I had to put money on it right now, I’d go Food Network. Last week: No. 26
26. Dallas Cowboys – (2-3) Is Matt Cassel better than Brandon Weedon? Probably. Has Brandon Weedon really been the problem? Well, he’s not helped, but come on. You’ve been run over by a truckload of playoff teams and the Giants are just going to be the latest. Last week: No. 18
27. Cleveland Browns – (2-3) The Browns hung with the Broncos for the whole game until the Broncos remembered they were playing the Browns. Last week: No. 28
28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – (2-3) How has Jameis Winston won more games than Marcus Mariota at this point? This question is going to haunt all of us for at least as long as it takes to read the rest of this sentence. Last week: No. 29
29. Jacksonville Jaguars – (1-5) Over the last, say, six years, how many times have the Jaguars been ranked higher than 29 on anybody’s power rankings? How many times have they been dead last? Last week: No. 30
30. Detroit Lions – (1-5) Congratulations on the win, but at the same time we’re all kind of sad you didn’t have the fortitude that 2008 team had to lose every game. I wasn’t fooled for a minute, but I still wanted to believe. Last week: No. 32
31. Baltimore Ravens – (1-5) The Ravens right now are a Michael Vick one-yard run (and multiple Josh Scobee kicks) away from being 0-6. I picked them to go the Super Bowl. I am getting paid for this. Last week: No. 21
32. Chicago Bears – (2-4) You lose to the Lions, you go to the bottom. I won’t hear a word about it, Bears. Just stew in your diaper of the bye week and prepare for the Vikings who will be ripe for the taking.. Last week: No. 17
