in FOOTBALL, NFL National Football League

The XFL is Back. Great?

Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Ultimately, the NFL has only itself to blame. The need for a minor league springtime professional football product is there. The National Football League has dragged its feet on it too long and, once again, Vince McMahon has oozed out of the sewer to fill that void with the XFL.

The logo is different, the gimmicks will apparently be gone, but the same shitty owner is in place, so what can we expect?

Unlike McMahon’s former version of the XFL, this time he has no partners. His last XFL version was a team up with NBC that ultimately killed the league when ratings went swirling down the toilet. Now, with the WWE Network available, McMahon controls his own toilet so the only person that really has to care about ratings is him.

“I wanted to do this since the day we stopped the other one,” McMahon told ESPN. “A chance to do it with no partners, strictly funded by me, which would allow me to look in the mirror and say, ‘You were the one who screwed this up,’ or ‘You made this thing a success.'”

McMahon stated the updated XFL will start with eight teams, set up in cities he hasn’t picked out yet. The league is set to, supposedly, kick off in 2020. We shall see.

McMahon is already selling his rehashed football enterprise as “Making Football Great Again.” It’s no secret he’s good buddies with our sitting Orange Pumpkin in Chief and his wife Linda is Donald Trump’s Administrator of Small Business Administration. I assume she’s actually doing a decent job at that since she’s never in the news and Trump hasn’t Tweeted even once about her facelift or weight.

There will be no protesting in this football league. No kneeling. Which is ironic because it would probably be a great place for Colin Kaepernick to restart a professional football career.

“People don’t want social and political issues coming into play when they are trying to be entertained,” McMahon said. “We want someone who wants to take a knee to do their version of that on their personal time. …I can say, ‘Here are the rules, and as long as you are playing football in the stadium for us, you follow these rules.'”

The truth is, McMahan has already, at least publicly, put himself out of the running for some of the best players possible for his league. If you’ve ever been in trouble with the law, apparently the new XFL is no place for you.

“We are evaluating a player based on many things, including the quality of human being they are,” McMahon said. “If you have any sort of criminal record or commit a crime you aren’t playing in this league. …You want someone who does not have any criminality associated whatsoever with them. Even if you have a DUI you will not play in the XFL. “So that will probably eliminate some of them. Not all of them. If Tim Tebow wants to play, he can very well play.”

Which is crazy because his league’s potential biggest star, Johnny Manziel, seems stoked to play in the XFL but with his silly history of drunken run-ins with the law, presumably he’d be out.

I get not letting really violent people in the league, but if somebody wouldn’t lose their job at Arby’s over their police record, I can’t see keeping them out of a football league. I mean, a guy like Manziel is the perfect match for the XFL. Let’s not be stupid, Vince.

McMahon has also took an early shit on his bed by intimating his players won’t be able to jump to the NFL. Using this as a minor league feeder system for the NFL and marketing it as such would guarantee a better class of players suit up for the Tuscualoosa Toothless Morons or the Pensacola Hookhand Strippers.

“One thing we are not is a development league for the NFL,” McMahon said, hoping the allure of playing for the Knoxville Thievin’ Hobos is enough to trick potential NFL undrafted free agents into joining his league.

McMahon mentioned Tebow specifically as a potential player, but I can’t see that happening. He would be an instant draw, of course, but he’s actually doing pretty well in minor league baseball right now. Certainly better than any of us thought he would when the New York Mets signed him. Just a week ago Tebow got an official invite to the Mets minor league camp.

In addition to a likely weekly game or two on the WWE Network, McMahon will try to set up streaming deals.

For the eight teams, each will have a 40-man roster and they’ll earn a regular salary with bonuses for winning games. They’ll play a 10-week season. McMahon has made one smart statement already in announcing the league. He’s said he won’t be a visible part of it and that there’ll be no injection of his WWE wrestlers or talent. At least he learned something from his previous XFL failures.

CAN THIS BE A GOOD THING?

Of course, but McMahon has to kill any open animosity with the NFL. The last thing he wants is to keep a talented player from signing a contract with him because that guy can’t jump to the NFL if an offer arises.

He’d be smart to court the NFL a little to try to work in some kind of co-contracts with quarterbacks low on a team’s depth chart. A guy like Nathan Peterman of the Buffalo Bills, Bryce Petty of the New York Jets or Jake Rudock from the Detroit Lions would be ideal to play in both leagues. There are plenty of young quarterbacks who need the training and reps to develop. Shit, this is why the NFL has screwed up by not already forming its own developmental league.

McMahon will have to relax his “No DUI” rule, just out of marketability. Like I said early, Manziel would be his top selling jersey from Day One (unless he was able to lure Tebow in, which he can’t). There’s no reason to cut your surgically reconstructed nose off to spite your surgically lifted face, Vince. Smarten up a little.

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Written by Adam Greene

Adam Greene is a writer and photographer based out of East Tennessee. His work has appeared on Cracked.com, in USA Today, the Associated Press, the Chicago Cubs Vineline Magazine, AskMen.com and many other publications.

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