Tony Dorsett gets lost in his own hometown sometimes.
There are moments when he travels that he forgets why he’s on board the plane or where he’s heading. It’s a frustrating problem for a man who for most of his life knew exactly where he was going.
In his younger days, Dorsett never got lost, especially on the way to the end zone. The Hall of Fame running back was drafted with the No. 2 pick of the 1977 NFL Draft by the Dallas Cowboys and spent the next decade racking up 12,739 yards on the ground, 3,554 yards in receptions and scoring 92 touchdowns. While he was doing that he helped the Cowboys to two NFC Championships and a Super Bowl title in 1978. He carried the ball 15 times for 66 yards in a 27-10 win over the Denver Broncos’ vaunted Orange Crush defense in Super Bowl XII.
Before that in college at Pittsburgh, Dorsett was a three-time All-American and won six postseason individual awards, including the 1976 Heisman Trophy.
And all the while he knew he was doing permanent harm to his body. He just had no idea how much. Dorsett opened up to SportsRadio 1310 in Dallas Tuesday about the effects of Chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a degenerative brain disease that stems from repeated head trauma.
“I signed up for this when, I guess, I started playing football so many years ago,” said the running back who was diagnosed two years ago with the disease. “But, obviously, not knowing that the end was going to be like this. But I love the game. The game was good to me. It’s just unfortunate that I’m going through what I’m going through.”
CTE has been an unfortunate staple in NFL conversations over the past few years, as it partly stems from symptomatic concussions and even sub-concussive hits. Over multiple injuries, tau, an abnormal protein, begins to build up and reduce brain cells in areas of the brain in charge of memory, emotions and other processes.
CTE can only be confirmed post mortem by an autopsy of the brain. Over 50 deceased ex-NFL players, including Hall of Famer Junior Seau, who committed suicide in 2012, were diagnosed with the tua protein build-up.
There are screening tests that show signs of the disorder, however.
Dorsett, along with former New York Giants defensive end Leonard Marshall and Buffalo Bills Hall of Fame offensive lineman Joe DeLamielleure all underwent the test at UCLA in 2013 and all were diagnosed with signs of CTE.
After the diagnosis, Dorsett said he wasn’t going to dwell on it. He was going to be “proactive, rather than reactive.” But the disease has taken its toll.
“I’m in a battle, obviously,” Dorsett said Monday.. “I got diagnosed with CTE and it’s very frustrating at times for me. I’ve got a good team of people around me, my wife and kids, who work with me. When you’ve been in this town for so long and I have to go to some place I’ve been going to for many, many, many years, and then all of a sudden I forget how to get there.”
Dorsett has battled depression and his emotions in recent years and admitted to Dan LeBetard in 2014 that he contemplated suicide before being diagnosed.
“I’ve thought about crazy stuff, sort of like, ‘Why do I need to continue going through this?’ I’m too smart a person, I like to think, to take my life, but it’s crossed my mind.”
Dorsett’s son Anthony played in the NFL for seven seasons. Even dealing with CTE now, looking back, Dorsett wouldn’t keep his son from playing football.
“I would just be a little bit more concerned about certain injuries,” Dorsett said. “When I was playing, my whole mentality was that if I could walk I’d play.”
In July of last year a U.S. District Judge approved a $675 million settlement between the NFL and more than 4,500 former players, of which Dorsett was one, to cover retired players that develop neurological diseases. The NFL has implemented multiple rule changes designed to protect the players and just Monday hired Elizabeth Nabel as its first chief health advisor, even as it faces another lawsuit from over 1,000 former players for hiding injuries and an investigation from the FDA for the misuse of painkillers.
“It’s great to see that they’re trying to make the game safer now,” Dorsett said. “Sometimes I look at some of the rules now and I’m like, ‘C’mon man. This is football.’ But the deal is it’s in the best interest of the players of today. There’s no question about it. To say if I’m totally happy with the NFL? I just can’t say I’m totally happy, but it’s good to see them making strides in the right direction.”
Though he has his low moments, Dorsett isn’t giving up. He’s still involved in charity work and works to raise public awareness about the health and well-being of former athletes.
“I’m in the fight, man,” Dorsett said. “I’m not just laying around letting this overtake me. I’m fighting. I’m in the battle. I’m hoping we can reverse this thing somehow.”
