Donald Trump’s idea to bring in a cavalcade of stars to the introduce him as the nominee at the Republican National Convention took another hit to the inconsequentially small gonads this week when Christian Missionary, TV personality and sometimes football player Tim Tebow announced, in no uncertain terms, that he will not be speaking for Trump.
For some reason openly participating in the most divisive election in our country’s recent history is something Tebow would like to avoid. Like Zika or herpes or listening to the new Future album.
“My goal has always been to be able to make a difference in the biggest way possible,” Tebow says in the video he posted to his social media accounts. “And if one day that’s in the political realm, then that’s what I’ll do. But right now I really believe that’s through my foundation and our raising partners and fighting for kids that can’t fight for themsleves. But I love our country and I’ll do anything for America….”
So does that mean Tebow will lead us in the Ant-Trump uprising? If so, Tim let me just say…
If a famous person, or really any human at all, is reticent to get involved publicly in this clogged toilet of an election, it should be easy for any of us to understand. Donald Trump is the most despised person to ever run for president in American history. The second most hated? Hillary Clinton. It’s like choosing between King Joffrey and Walder Frey. And yes, I’m going to keep going with the nerd references. The Force is with me in this.
So Tebow, after Trump pointed at him with his tiny Vienna sausage-like finger, swatted it aside. Just as Trump’s best friend Tom Brady and a guy Trump met one time at that thing with all the people, Ben Roethlisberger.
What sports figures are going to speak for Trump at his cavalcade of “stars?” The first announced is former University of Indiana basketball coaching great and headbutt enthusiast Bobby Knight.
https://twitter.com/tfgnews/status/754758743439605760
I, for one, am interested in what Knight will say about Trump and his qualifications to be president. What does the man who once choked the Indiana University sports information director over a press release think about foreign policy? What does the guy who slapped Kentucky coach Joe B. Hall in the back of the head during a game have to say about entitlements? As a person who was convicted and sentenced to six months in jail for punching a cop in Puerto Rico, what does Knight think about prison reform?
What will the guy who once tossed a chair onto the court at a Purdue player taking a foul shot think about race relations? I’m sure all the women in the audience, both at the convention and on television, will want to hear about Trump’s stance on reproductive rights from a man who once said that a woman being raped should just “relax and enjoy it.”
Who else? Well there’s UFC president Dana White, LPGA golfer Natalie Gulbis and… well, that’s it. Noticeably absent is anyone from the sport of football. As some of you may know, Trump owned the New Jersey Generals in the USFL and was instrumental in the league’s utter destruction. He tried to force the other owners to moving the USFL season from the spring to the fall and led a $1.69 billion anti-trust lawsuit against the NFL in which Trump and the USFL were awarded $3. Yes. That’s not a typo. Three whole dollars.
Roethlisberger said no. Brady deflated Trump’s expectations and now Tebow has tossed him into the turf like one of his errant passes. Who else could Trump get? It’s just too bad O.J. Simpson isn’t available.
Trump will probably settle for Mike Ditka, former Chicago Bears head coach and the guy who single-handedly dismantled a sure-fire football dynasty in the 1980s. Ditka then spent three seasons driving the New Orleans Saints into the ground like a Trump-owned Casino. Sounds perfect.
